To Asuka
by ladyxkodomo
Summary: Asuka always gets love letters in her locker, stuffed into the edges, spilling over the side. All of them say “I love you” or some vulgar thing...FIFTH CHAPTER IS UP! NOT KIDDING! Rei finally gets a big part in the story.
1. He wrote WHAT?

Summary: Asuka always gets love letters in her locker, stuffed into the edges, spilling over the side. All of them say "I love you" or some vulgar thing. But what happens when a series of letters with poems in them start coming to Asuka, with one serious love explanation after another? Will she actually take these ones to heart? What will Asuka do? How will this change her? Will I ever get an A in History? Am I insane? Will you please move on to the story?  
Author's Note: ::big grin:: This is my SECOND, ever, Eva story. Of course, since Denial [fanfiction.net] I have gotten to reading MANY (maybe too many) Eva fics. I've read all the fics by Axel Terizaki [now that guy is reeeeaaaaalllly good, I am serious, his stories are the best] and in a state of frenzy, have read The One I Love Is... by Alain Gravel. In fact, I finished it not too long ago [maybe 15 minutes ago or so?] I've read some on evafics.org, and on evamade.com. Overall, the Eva fics I've read are great. I hope this one is acceptable. DON'T expect an Angel fight too soon, mind you! I'm still not experienced in that field! I can't get all the details of one down! So...on with the story.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shin Seiki Evangelion, unfortunately. Darnnit, this sucks. I need to copyright a company. Excuse me...  
Note: The Touji Suzuhara you will encounter in this particular story is BASED ON THE MANGA. I've NEVER seen the anime version. Only pictures. Yeah, go ahead, throw eggs at me. But I've never seen it on TV and I can't get ahold of the DVDs. The Touji in the manga [by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto] has an Osaka accent, which is kind of like a Japanese southern accent. Hmm, I think that's the only difference. Also, the Shinji Ikari in this story is a bit like the manga and anime. In the manga, Shinji has a bit more of a backbone. He's a bit more stable. He's not that wimpy. And...well, I guess that's it. You got a problem with that, then oh well.   
  
To Asuka  
  
  
"Dammit! I got another one!"  
"You got another ones...."  
Asuka Langley Sohryu stared in anger at the pile of rose-scented, French-lavender-sprinkled, nice stationary-ed letters, each saying the same thing: "You're hot", "I love you", "I want you", "Will you go out with me?" and other things not suitable for younger viewers.  
Hikari laughed at the amount of envelopes in Asuka's locker. "It just goes to show how popular you are."  
For a second there, Asuka struck a triumphant pose. "Of course! I am the Great Sohryu Asuka Langley! Did you expect any less of my reputation!?!?" Then she faltered and kicked her shoes on top of the letters, then slipped on her school shoes. "But still. To be popular among the geeks and bakas of this school isn't very....prideful."  
"That is true," Hikari agreed, slipping on her school shoes. "You make a point there."  
"Don't I always?" The German girl grinned heartily.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
In the corner of class 2-A, a wimpy-looking boy but with deep dark eyes stared with hatred at the paper in front of him.  
"Touji, I still don't get this..." He turned to his friend.  
"Don't sweat it, man! All yuh gossa do is dis: you write one of dem sappy love poems youse is always writin en den I'll take care of da rest, yo!" Toji winked. "Youse is da smart one, man. I needa tell da class rep....uh....what I tink of her. So....yeah...." His face flushed pink and Shinji had to cover his mouth to stop laughing.  
"You like the class rep?" He asked as "modestly" as he could.  
"Shuddup, man! Jess write da damn ting!"   
Taking his advice, Shinji shut up and put his pen to the paper. It was true, he was pretty good at writing poetry. Maybe all that classical music had gone to his head or something, but he was pretty good.   
There was a writer's block starting to mold in Shinji's brain but he beat it. After five minutes of chewing absentmindedly on his pen, ignoring the "Dammit Ikari hurry da hell up"s from Touji and the ecstatic screams of missing some tip for hacking into a computer from Kensuke, a line had formed in his head.  
He put the pen to the paper, wiping off some spit, and began to write.  
However, at that moment, a German redheaded devil flung herself into the classroom.  
"LET ME TELL YOU ONE LAST TIME, YOU FREAKIN' IDIOTS, THAT I DON'T_WANT_YOUR_LETTERS!" Asuka screamed at the top of her lungs. "YOU SODS ARE SCREWING UP MY LOCKER!"  
Instead of sad, pitying remarks and "I feel so sorry for myself"s that Asuka would have liked to hear, she heard the dorks of class 2-A responding wheezingly, "So you *puff* got my letter *puff* Asuka! Did *puff* *hack* you *puff* like it?"  
(No, they're not smoking....)  
A vein twitched in Asuka's head. Then she spotted Shinji and stomped over to him. Shinji gulped.  
Oh, damn, he thought. I feel a sudden pain coming on...  
"You!" She cried, pointing a finger in his direction. "I bet you sent one to me, too!"  
Shinji looked at Asuka in shock and disgust. "Why would I do that?"  
"Because you're a hormonal-15-year-old guy with no control whatsoever of his sexual pleasures!"  
Shinji's mouth was open in one of disgust, horror, and disbelief. "No way! I did no such thing. I will never do such a thing!"  
Asuka sighed. "No use lying to yourself, Shinji..."  
And she bent down so low their noses were almost touching, and Shinji, if he just happened to look down, could see the top part of her cleavage. He looked up and tried to make that feeling down there go away...  
"See Shinji," Asuka said in a low voice, for once not caring about anyone else, who was staring. "All the boys like me for one thing: my looks. I'd rather be liked for more than just this, but...no. At this age every guy is like this." She narrowed her eyes. "I didn't expect any exception from you. After all, I've seen you in the morning..."  
Shinji blushed a deep red. Asuka straightened up and walked away.  
Touji walked over to Shinji. "Hey man, dat wuz some weird stuff da devil jess pulled dere..."  
Shinji was still red. "Yeah..."  
"So are yeh gon' write da damn ting!?!?! I've been waitin forever!!"  
Shinji snapped back into reality and put his pen back on the paper. "O-oh yeah..." He quickly wrote something down and showed Touji the paper. "Here."  
Touji picked it up and examined it. "Hey Ikari, dis is not all dat bad. No, not bad at all...now wut iz da class rep's locker numba?"  
Shinji shrugged. "Why would you expect me to know?"  
"Coz youse is smart, dumbass."  
Shinji sighed and gave in. "I think it's 53."  
"Now youse is shure?"   
"Yeah, pretty much..."  
Actually, the truth was, Shinji didn't know whether it was 53 or 35. He could care less, anyway. He didn't like the class rep that much.  
He had eyes for another.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
  
In the locker room, Touji slipped the envelope with the poem "he" had written in it into shoe locker number 53.  
"Now all I gossa do is wait," Touji said hopefully, making sure no one saw him as he walked back into the classroom...  
  
----------------------------------  
  
At lunchtime, Asuka was sprawled out on her desk, apparently snoozing. The rest of the class walked by her and some poked her, but she must have been as tired as hell, because she wasn't waking up.  
Hikari walked over to her, pissed off because Asuka was destroying the "good reputation" of the class. "Asuka..."  
Asuka's head snapped back up immediately. "WHAT DID I MISS?!?"  
"Get up, Asuka....it's lunchtime," Hikari said, thinking that it was no use to get mad at Asuka because she would just get madder.  
"Oh, really? Schiesse...let me get my shoes," She yawned again and walked into the locker room.  
Hikari followed her and retrieved her own shoes. She looked over at Asuka, who was staring into her locker.  
"Do you have your shoes? Come on," Hikari said, pulling on her sleeve. "Let's go..."  
"No, wait. I got another one," Asuka grunted. She pointed into her locker. "Look."  
Hikari looked into Asuka's locker and saw she was right; there was an envelope in there with....  
"Why is my name on it though!?!?" Hikari asked, shocked.  
"Maybe the dud got the locker numbers wrong," Asuka scoffed. She fished it out. "Here, let's read it."  
Oblivious to the fact that they were missing lunch reading this note, Asuka opened it and began to read it, Hikari reading over her shoulder.  
  
Maybe one day you'll notice me  
instead of looking at me through another light   
I'm different, so please  
accept me for myself  
try to understand that  
there's another world behind me  
instead of  
jock,  
accented,  
huge,  
pervert...  
Maybe I am all these things  
but maybe  
I'm more?  
You understand everyone  
everyone, it seems  
but me  
so try to understand me,  
maybe that'll take us  
into a different light...  
Both of us  
together  
~T.S.~  
  
Asuka and Hikari sat, open-mouthed, staring at the piece of paper she was holding.  
"Oh my God," Hikari said, grabbing her shirt. "Oh, my God..."  
"Wow, that was good. Better than anything I ever got...and look at the initials!"  
"T.S.?!?" Hikari gasped. "Oh my God. No way. No!"  
"Yes," Asuka laughed. "Yes way."  
Hikari slumped against the wall and buried her face in her hands. "Now what am I gonna do!??!"  
"I don't know. Don't ask me," Asuka said.   
"You are such a big help," Hikari said, dripping with sarcasm.  
"Thanks."  
  
-------------------------------  
  
  
  
After school, Shinji and Touji were walking home together because Kensuke had to stay after school.  
"I pity da guy. He didn do nuttin," Touji said.  
"Except getting caught at hacking into the school's files," Shinji added.  
"Well, yea, buh 'snot really a big deal..."  
"Whatever."  
They crossed at the intersection and Shinji decided to bring up the question.  
"Do you think Hikari got the note?" He asked.  
Touji flushed a deep red. "I dunno!"  
"What's up? Are you scared of being rejected?"  
"WHO IN DA HECK WOULDN'T?!?!"  
Shinji held his hands up in a pathetic apology. "Ok, ok. I'm just....wondering."  
"Besides, it wouldn't 'splain much coz ya poem sucked...."  
"HEY!!!"  
"Dang Ikari, I'm just jokin'....can'cha take a joke?"  
Shinji shut up and they walked in silence for awhile. When they reached the place where they had to separate, Touji slapped Shinji on the back.  
"Actually, ya did a pretty good job. Better den 'neting I could write, anyways..."  
Shinji looked up. "Really?"  
"Yeah. Aright, I better go. Later, Ikari."  
Shinji nodded, shocked to hear words of praise (when you are Shinji Ikari, praise is of rare) and walked to the apartment.  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
"Are you sure Misato-sama wouldn't mind if I came over?"  
"Are you kidding? She's tired of me and Shinji fighting all the time, she'd practically love you to bits and pieces 'coz you're so polite."  
Hikari blushed. They were in front of Misato's apartment, and Asuka was opening the door.  
"I mean, we could have just gone to my house to examine the note..."  
"Believe me, this place is better. Misato is at work and stupid Shinji, well, when he gets home I'll just banish him to his room. At your house, everyone is home."  
Hikari sighed as the door opened and she took off her shoes. "You're right..."  
Asuka threw her bag on the floor while Hikari carefully set it aside on the chair. They both sat down on the couch and Hikari took out the note.  
Asuka grabbed it from Hikari and looked it over. "Hmmmmm. Do you really think this note holds any meaning?"  
Hikari blushed again. "What? Why do you ask?"  
"Well, I mean, it's not like Touji's some kind of lovey-dovey guy."  
"But all the guys who hide their feelings tend to be guys like Suzuhara."  
"That's right, you have a point."  
Hikari looked it over once more. "But it doesn't look like his handwriting."  
Asuka mentally slapped her forehead. "Hikari, try to understand guys don't want you to know they wrote it!"  
"Then why did he put his initials?"  
"Maybe he got someone else to write the poem for him!"  
Hikari sat back and took this all in. Touji Suzuhara, whom she always seemed to be yelling at, had written–or at least had made up–this beautiful poem. To her.   
Actually, it was kind of disgusting, embarrassing, and weird for Hikari. But it was also pretty romantic.  
"So what should I do? Should I tell him I got it?"  
"Put a note in his shoe locker, and you guys can go from there."  
Hikari blushed even harder...oh God, how far can she go!?!? "Well, will you help me?"  
"WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HERE?!?!"  
Suddenly, the door opened, revealing a thoughtful Shinji. He spotted the two girls and cursed himself. Of course Hikari or Asuka was going to ask him about the note, they were friends and he was friends with Touji.  
WHAT WOULD HE SAY?!!?  
"Um...hello." He said casually. "Sorry for disturbing you."  
Hikari smiled. "Oh, it's no–"  
Then Asuka butted in. "Hey Shinji, do you know anything about your big stupid friend and some note?"  
Oh God, Shinji thought, searching for the right words. "Er, no, I mean, not likely, uh, actually, I have to go." He ran off.  
Smooth, Shinji, he kicked himself. Really nice.  
Asuka pondered over Shinji's reaction.   
"The baka is hiding something," She finally declared.  
Hikari, however, kept staring at the note.  
"You know what, maybe I'll just write that note by myself," She said finally.  
"What!?!? No! I wanna see it too!"  
"But, Asuka..."  
"NO! Come on, Hikari!"  
"Asuka...;;"  
Asuka got up and grabbed a pen from her bookbag and a piece of paper, then thrust both at Hikari.  
"You WILL write the DAMN NOTE HERE because I wanna SEE IT too!"  
"O-KAY, o-KAY..."  
Hikari took the pen and put it on the paper. She stuck her tongue out, just a little, and looked at Asuka.  
"So...."  
Asuka sighed. "You've never written a love letter before, have you?"  
"Does it show?"  
So Asuka, doing this just because Hikari was her best friend, took her through the steps of how to write a proper love letter.  
"Oh, alright. I get it."  
A few minutes later (ok, it was an hour) Hikari showed a rough draft to Asuka.  
"How is it?" She asked eagerly.  
  
Dear Suzuhara-san,  
I received your letter. Thank you very much.  
~Horaki Hikari~  
  
  
Ach, Gott....can this get ANY lamer?!?!   
Asuka tried to let her friend down nicely.  
"What the heck is this crap, Hikari!!??"  
Hikari looked shocked. "Um..."  
"YOU CALL THIS A LETTER? This piece o' crap ain't a LETTER. It's practically just a note you pass in between classes. A love letter has to be passionate. You like him, don't you??!"  
Hikari blushed. "What!?!?"  
Asuka tutted in a tutting sort of way. "Now now, Hikari, don't lie to me..."  
Knowing only God and seraphs could beat Asuka, Hikari nodded, her face as red as a fire engine. "I...guess so."  
"SO TELL 'EM! Tell the poor sod what you feel. If you just tell him you got the letter, your whole budding relationship is AUTOMATICALLY ka-put! Boys are fragile and strange creatures, Hikari. They won't know what a dog is unless you stick one in front of their faces. Which is why guys won't know if you love them unless you SAY it. Unless you can't be passionate here because I am here which is why you wanted to write it at your house...?"  
Oh God, Shinji thought from the hallway. Hikari must be feeling very awkward at the moment.  
Shinji had not come in the room to eavesdrop (no, seriously, he didn't!) He had actually went into the hallway to give Pen-Pen a snack because he'd forgotten to feed him when he got back from school. But he heard Asuka giving her Boy Sermon, and he decided that this wasn't a good time to barge in...  
"Well, alright, you win..." Hikari muttered. "I...I guess I can write it here. But tell me...how exactly can I be passionate to....to Suzuhara?"  
Shinji knew she was right. Touji was....not exactly....heart-emotionally-feely. He had asked Shinji to write the poem, after all.  
Then he heard Asuka talking and leaned in closer.  
"Well, you're right, Hikari. The guy is pretty dense and thick as lead. But just say what you wanna say! I mean, if you wrote it, he'll accept it. He wanted you to know he likes you, after all. I mean, why the poem? He probably wrote, or got someone else to write, what he felt. So, you can do it too. I mean, if I ever got a love letter like that, I'd definately read it. I'd even respond back, probably. For someone to write something so beautiful like that, they're great writers, and great guys. I'd love to get such a real and emotional poem like that...." She trailed off, sighing as she did.  
At this, Shinji's mouth dropped open. Asuka liked the poem. This meant, oh, this meant...  
For once in his life, Shinji understood what Asuka meant, and it took him less than 7 seconds. He tip-toed quietly back to his room, deciding that Pen-Pen could hold off food a little while longer.  
"So....I should just...write from the heart?" Hikari asked hopefully.  
"Yeah, and all that emotional stuff. So get to writing! And then, I'll read it. And then, you can go..."  
Hikari put her pen back on the paper and scribbled furiously. Asuka raised her eyebrows in approval.  
She must have a lot to say, Asuka thought.  
Little did she know, though, that a certain teenage boy in the same household had a lot to say, too....  
  
----------------------------------  
  
The next day, Asuka walked into Shinji's room and found it empty.  
"Huh," She muttered. "That's pretty new."  
She walked into the kitchen and found that to be empty as well. Now this puzzled her as well.  
"Don't tell me that baka already left for school!" She muttered in a panic, pulling on her school shoes as quickly as possible. "Why did he leave so early!?!? Dumkopf!"  
With this, she ran out the door, ignoring the "Wark-warks" from Pen-Pen. She was determined to get to school.  
Well, if the elevator didn't take so long, she'd had been a lot more determined to get to school...  
  
---------------------------------   
  
Shinji had arrived at school an hour before the first bell. It was empty, as he had predicted, except for one or two students and a few teachers. As hurriedly as he could he stuffed the piece of paper into a locker, then shuffled back to his desk.  
By and by, students shuffled into the room. Every time the door opened, he looked up, expecting to see red hair–but to no avail. It was 5 minutes to the bell, and he was getting worried. Hikari seemed this way too, she was clutching her desk and her knuckles were white.  
Suddenly, the door was flung open to reveal an out-of-breath Asuka. She stomped over to Shinji and slammed her fist on his desk.  
"NEXT TIME," She puffed, trying to get the words out. "FEED the stupid penguin so he doesn't lock the elevators!"  
"Pen-Pen locked the elevator? How in the heck did he do that?" Shinji asked, appalled himself.  
"I...don't...know..." She wheezed, coughing. "But....just....FEED IT!" Then she walked to the back locker room, Hikari running after her.  
Shinji looked back, trying to see her open her locker, but he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see a very excited Touji.  
"Hey, Shinji," He said excitedly. "Look wut I got..."  
He unfolded a crumpled piece of paper from his hand and showed it to Shinji, but Shinji already knew what it was.  
  
Dear Suzuhara,  
I am VERY HAPPY to say that I received your letter and I just want to say in reply...  
I LOVE YOU. I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU!!! EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE A PERVERT AND YOU'RE NOT SMART AT SCHOOL, I LOVE YOU. Your poem was very passionate....I wish I could write as good as you, Suzuhara-san, but I guess you are smart in some ways. I just want to say, whatever feeling you were expressing in your poem, hopefully love, I RETURN IT with my whole heart.  
Love,  
Hikari Horaki  
  
Shinji stared open-mouthed at the letter. He knew Asuka had told her to be PASSIONATE, but not exactly this bold and revealing. It was like screaming out loud, "I LOVE YOU!" Shinji didn't know how Touji could keep from blushing in embarrassment.   
"Where's da class rep?" He asked excitedly. "I gotta tell her–"  
"No!" Shinji exclaimed, grabbing his tracksuit from behind. Touji turned around, an eyebrow raised. "Um, I mean, she's busy with Asuka. Why don't you wait till lunch? You'll have a longer time to...er...tell her."  
Touji nodded. "Aw, you're right. Okay, I'm gonna show Kensuke..."  
Shinji hoped Kensuke could handle it. He wasn't very...romantic. But then, neither was Touji, and he had all the luck in the world right now. However, Shinji hoped some of that luck was directed towards himself as well...he needed it, now.  
  
-------------------------  
  
Asuka opened her shoe locker and shoved her shoes inside. But they wouldn't go in all the way.  
"What the heck!" She screamed. "I don't know whether it's the stupid leather on these dumb shoes or the thickness and denseness of the letters. Hikari, help me shove these in!"  
Hikari was blushing so hard but she helped her anyway. "Uh–I think it's this letter here," She said nervously. Indeed there was a letter written on thick paper that was keeping the shoes from going in.  
"Damn letter," Asuka growled. She pulled it out. "Oh well. I guess I'll read it anyway. It better be good, it's flooding–up–my–locker..."  
Finally the shoes got shoved in and Asuka put on her school slippers. Then she opened up the note and beckoned Hikari over.  
"Stop BLUSHING," She scowled, fed up with looking at Hikari's face, which resembled the color of Asuka's plugsuit. "You don't even know if he got it yet! But it was very passionate. Maybe a bit...emotional-bold. But passionate. Hey, don't feel so bad..."  
"Just read your stupid letter," Hikari said in an excited whisper.  
Asuka rolled her eyes. "You're right, it's probably stupid anyway..."  
  
Dear Asuka,  
  
To the girl who makes me feel  
like I'm looking at the world from up above:  
  
  
Insults  
hurt me  
cold blue eyes  
irritate me  
'baka'  
kills me  
but when you look at me  
without that 'low-life' look  
pleading  
helpless  
young   
afraid  
alone,  
I just can't help  
seeing myself  
in your eyes  
knowing you  
are just like  
me.  
So come  
take my hand  
we'll walk  
through life  
together.  
  
~Anonymous~  
  
Asuka and Hikari were literally in shock.  
"It's even better than mine," Hikari said breathily.  
"I...I..."   
Asuka couldn't even say full sentences. She was too...mesmerized by the words of this poem. Sure, they were just words. But put in this order, in this situation, it tweaked Asuka in a way that compelled her to instantly want to meet the person who had written these words....they scared her, because she'd never had words like this said to her before. It made her eyes tear at the corners because they were so passionate and they made her stomach churn in a good way, a twisted, lovey sort of way. It made her feel sick.  
"I...uh..."  
Hikari giggled. "I guess I'm not the only one who's gotten hit by the love bug, huh?"  
"Shut up, Hikari," Asuka said suddenly, snapping back into her senses. "I'm not in love. I'm just....shocked."  
"You said yourself last night you'd want to meet whoever wrote such a thing like this," Hikari reminded her.  
"I did, didn't I?" Asuka said. Her eyes started to sparkle and her mouth twisted in a mischievous grin. "Yeah, didn't I?"   
"Yes. Oh, no, wait. What are you–"  
Hikari felt she had said the wrong thing, for Asuka had gotten to her feet and was starting to walk back towards the classroom, a determined look on her face....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. The 2nd Letter

A/N: Here I am again!!! And let me tell you....I have just watched the (DUBBED) anime of NGE for the first time ever, and I must tell you....it was seriously, in all honesty, painful to watch. I got Genesis:2 at the video store and as Asuka would say, "ACH, MEIN GOTT, WHAT HAPPENED THERE?!" I respond with my own fury of raging power. I mean, Shinji sounds like a girl. And after hearing the characters say "Ay-va", not "Eeeeva" and "Evageh-lion" not "Evanjielion" I am confused at the true pronunciation of those words. After the first episode, I got used to Shinji's voice (but it still disgusted me) and decided, that after I get the episode where Asuka comes in, that I'll stick solely to the Japanese version with English subtitles because it just makes me too sick to watch the dubbed version. I am SORRY, ADV films. But that's the suckiness of animation in another language–you have to get a voice actor/actress who sounds JUST RIGHT. But let me ask you....WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU GAVE SHINJI THAT VOICE?!?!   
I have now expressed my opinion.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shin Seiki Evangelion. Dang, huh?  
IMPORTANT NOTE: I need pre-readers!! I've gotten some requests (Rursher-san) but their inbox quotas are over the limit! If you want to pre-read To Asuka, please E-MAIL me. Do not review. E-MAIL me. Thanks!!!! ^______~  
Note: In this chapter, and the next, it'll be a bit more focused on Hikari and Touji than Asuka and Shinji. But don't worry! They're crucial! I promise!  
  
To Asuka  
Chapter 2  
  
Hikari chased frantically after Asuka as she stopped at every single boy in homeroom 2-A and proceeded to....interrogate him.  
"You! You there. Yeah, whoever the hell you are. No, I don't care. Now, have you ever sent me a love letter? AND TELL ME THE TRUTH!!! Oh yeah? You don't wanna say? Listen, li'l boy, I got some connections. You still don't wanna 'fess up? What? Oh, now you're running away? Oh no way! You come back here, you–@#!$@#!!!"   
"Asuka!" Hikari eventually screamed. "You need to stop!"  
At this, Asuka turned around, her hair sticking out in every single place from running around, her blue eyes cold and icy with fury, and her mouth twisted into an odd shape. Ha! The red devil herself!   
"I have to find out who wrote this note, Hikari," Asuka said with a tone of voice that said, "Ya-got-it?" She turned around again. "Now c'mon!"  
Not wanting to follow around the axe murderer, Hikari sat down in her seat and closed her eyes.   
Asuka gets on my nerves sometimes, she thought tiredly.  
No wait, it's more like all the time.  
And then she heard a voice. A very...familiar voice.  
"Hey," it said.  
Hikari jumped up about, oh, let's say a meter at the least but kept her face on her desk, because she knew who it was and she didn't want to turn around. Besides, her face was as red as Eva-02, which is pretty red.  
"H-hi," She said softly.   
Goawaygoawaygoawaygoawaygoawaynow, she thought, hoping someone–BESIDES her conscience, which had led her to this whole mess in the first place–would hear her and whisk her away to a safe place.  
Wherever that was, anyway.  
"Um....so, I gotcher letter," The voice said again.  
If I could just melt now, everything would be all good.  
"Really?" She said breathily.  
I didn't know such a romantic moment like this could feel so incredibly weird.  
"Y-yeah."  
On the other side, the guy himself was starting to sweat.   
This is pretty pathetic.  
"So..."  
"Um...did you like it?"  
Hikari decided that she would probably have to be the one to get this whole thing going. If she didn't, they'd be stuck there the whole lunch period saying "So" and "Um".  
That is not the beginning of a beautiful relationship.   
"Well..." He smiled crookedly, and Hikari just happened to see it. She shut her eyes tight and blocked the image from her mind, because if she remembered it, she'd go into a moment of complete bliss and embarrasment, which was not pretty.  
"Well, I mean...I jess wanted to say...that–"  
But all romantic atmosphere was whisked away by the reappearance of a red demon. She thrust her aura into the middle of the whole thing, and it was immediately banished.  
"YOU!" She pointed at Touji. "YOU, OH MY GOD, I BET IT WAS YOU!"  
"Me what?"  
"You! You, Mr. I-Like-Lookin'-Up-Girl's-Skirts, I bet it was you that sent me that poem. You, who has no control whatsoever over his hormones. You wrote that poem, didn't you?!? You were just desperate 'coz you couldn't seduce me with your stupid idiotic 15-year-old sexual ways, so you decided to woo me with some poem you plagiarized out of a book!"  
Touji had a blank look on his face. "What poem're ya talkin' 'bout, devil woman?"  
Asuka smirked. "Don't act like you don't know."  
Getting tired of the interruption, Hikari pinched Asuka. "Asuka! Go away! This is an important conversation!"  
Asuka stopped then and started to giggle. "Oh, I get it." Then her face hardened. "But that still leaves me with nothing!!! I don't know who sent me that letter. And let me tell you, I'm not going to rest 'til I know who wrote that poem. I mean..." At this, Asuka sighed and her face fell. "It really showed me how I was hiding the real Sohryu Asuka Langley underneath a pile of exterior hatred..."  
Hikari immediately felt sorry for Asuka. She knew how sad the real Asuka was, and even though she didn't know why, it still made her feel like her best friend had split personality disorder.  
"Well, I'll help you find that person, Asuka–"   
"SHINJI!" Asuka yelled suddenly.   
–When you leave Touji and I alone to discuss our personal matter, Hikari finished her sentence in her head.  
Asuka's bent head popped up and her sad face lit up. "Mein Gott! How could I forget about Shinji?!? That dud. I bet he wrote me this. He's always having insane fantasies about me! Always in the morning, always when he's looking at me, always when he's listening to his SDAT. I bet that's why it's his favorite thing. He can't get pleasure out of me, so he's going after a mechanic device–how pathetic..."  
She walked off–no, she stomped off–and proceeded to find the pilot of Eva-01.  
The two stared after her for awhile while she trudged through the classroom looking for Shinji, then Hikari nervously turned back to Touji.  
"So," she said softly, "What were you going to say?"  
"Well," He answered back, fidgeting with the zipper on his track suit. "I jess wanted to say...did you...y'know...know the meaning behind that poem?"  
At the word poem Hikari immediately pointed a finger at Touji. "So you did write it!"  
"Wha–?!?" This caught him off guard. "What're you talkin' about?"  
"Well, you see, I thought it really wasn't your handwriting. So I told Asuka–"  
"YOU SHOWED THAT THING TUH HER?!?"  
Not good.  
"Well, yeah!" Oh God, the romantic atmosphere had long gone vanished from the perimeter of the two. "I mean, it was in her locker."  
"THAT WAS HER LOCKER?!?!"  
Oh my God, dat Shinji is gonna get his death sentence today.  
"Yes, actually, it was!"  
Touji groaned and put his head on the desk. "Ohmigod..."  
Five hours till Shinji dies...  
Hikari immediately saw what she'd done and awkwardly put a hand on his shoulder. "Oh, um, I'm sorry, Suzuhara...I mean...she saw it, yeah, but...she helped me with the whole reply thing. I mean, she told me what to do."  
He looked up. "She did?"  
"Yeah."  
He shrugged. "Oh, okay den." Then he stood up. "Well....I'll see ya later." He walked off into the horizon (okay, out of the classroom), where he went to find Shinji, for Shinji was to die for being a carrier of false information, and people who carry false information die earlier than others.  
Hikari nodded, disappointed that he'd left her like this, and he walked off, still a bit woozy from the whole thing. She watched after him until he disappeared into the hallway. Then...  
"Oh my God! What kind of romantic moment was that??! That sucked!! It should go into the '10 Most Least Romantic Moments of All Time'! Oh my God! I am going to kill Asuka! Where's Asuka?!? YOU THERE! Yeah, you. What!??! Yeah, I'm the class rep. And, li'l boy, you better believe that I got some connections. TELL ME WHERE ASUKA IS!! Yeah, I'm talking about that pretty girl with the really evil personality. Yeah, HER! Oh, now you're running away? WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU!?!?"   
The Great Sohryu Asuka Langley was apparently starting to rub off on certain people...  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile, while a posse of people were looking for either himself or a member of that posse, Ikari Shinji was on the roof of his school, looking at the sky.  
He held a notebook in his hand and his SDAT player in the other.  
Inspiration, he thought to himself, is the beginning of everything.  
Well, inspiration had apparently left him, because he couldn't think of anything–not even a line or two–to start the next series of poems to Asuka.  
Of course, nothing was wrong. He could have easily started his poem. The sky was bright and blue with just a hint of cloud, there was a nice, soothing Bach concerto on his SDAT, there was a nice breeze, and the ground he was sitting on wasn't too cold or too hot. His pencil was sharpened and he had plenty of room on his page.  
The only thing not going click was his brain, however.  
He closed his eyes. The last time he'd written the poem–the one Asuka had recently found–he was sitting in his room, listening to the chatter of Asuka and Hikari talking about love letters and Touji. He had his inspiration then. So what? Did it suddenly just get up and leave?   
He needed a muse.  
And then he looked out into the distance and saw a girl with a red ribbon in her hair. No, nothing special about the ribbon–it was just a normal silk ribbon tied into a bow at the top of a ponytail. But it swished delicately in the wind. And it was red.  
Red perfectly described Asuka Langley Sohryu, be it a crimson red, suggesting vivacious, voluptuous, sexy, womanly, or be it a soft red, almost pink, suggesting puppy love, Valentines, sweetness, and cuteness....oh yeah. Red came in a million different shades and Asuka came in a million different personalities.  
Shinji, knowing this, decided he'd found his inspiration. He put his pen to work.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
  
Asuka was in the halls, on the stairs, outside, and in the boy's bathrooms looking for Shinji. She asked every boy in the hallway and she noticed that half of them didn't even know who he WAS.  
"This guy," She said to every single one of them in disbelief, "Saves your lives from evil and you don't even know who he is?!?"  
And they usually said "No" or "You mean the giant robot thing?" or "So?" or "Hey, you're that Asuka girl! Wanna go out with me?" and walked on (or Asuka stepped on their foot, forcing them to walk on. Or hobble on.)  
She finally got to the stairs that led to the roof.  
Oh yeah! This is it! That baka Shinji is always on the roof for some reason! Like he's plotting suicide or whatever. I bet he's there now...  
As she put her first foot on the stairs, though, a voice called out to her. "ASUKA!"  
She turned around and came face to face with Hikari. She was babbling on and on about some dumb romantic moment and how Asuka had ruined it, but Asuka couldn't think of one romantic moment that involved Hikari.  
Oh, how nice of you towards your friend, Asuka. You are so supportive.  
"What? I can't hear you," Asuka interuppted. She had an (evil) plan. "Say that again."  
She put her second foot on the first stair while Hikari took a deep breath, and when she said the first word (which happened to be 'Touji') Asuka was halfway up the staircase.  
"NYAH NYAH! YOU WANNA PLAY, HIKARI-CHAN?!! CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!"  
A vein in Hikari's neck twitched. She ran up the stairs chasing after a swirl of red hair. "Asuka! I'm not done talking to you yet! Come back here!"  
As she rounded on the second staircase, the strap of her shoe came loose and caught in the crook of the metal bars. Hikari had, however, grabbed Asuka's school uniform as she began to descend, which sent two girls flying down the staircase.  
"OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"  
"SCHEISSE!!!"  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
If he had not been walking by, there would have been a lot of broken bones since the staircase to the roof was at the far end of the hall where hardly anyone came except for Shinji. But Touji was part of the posse trying to assassinate Ikari Shinji, and he was just about to climb that same staircase himself.  
But he heard that deafening "OW" and that piercing "Scheisse" and he feared for what he was about to see.  
And he was scared anyway when he got to the foot of the incident.  
There, at the end of the stairs, was a pile of two teenage girls–Hikari and Asuka–tangled together. Hikari was moaning something about her leg and Asuka was yelling something about her school uniform and her arm and both girls were yelling at each other with mixed feelings.  
"HIKARI YOU RIPPED MY SCHOOL UNIFORM!"  
"I'm sorry Asuka!"  
"It's okay...I mean...it was an accident, right?"  
"I guess..in a way...."  
"Ohmygod! What happened to your leg?"  
"I don't know! It hurts!"  
"Gott! Did I do that?!"  
"I don't know..."  
Touji chose this time to speak up.  
"Uh...wut happened?"  
They both looked up and sighed. "Oh, Suzuhara," Hikari said. She had apparently forgotten about the morning, acting so casual around him.  
Or had she?  
"Help me up," She said, reaching for him. He tried not to leave his jaw hanging open as he put an arm around Hikari to support her standing.  
"Ey, class rep, I tink yo leg is broken or someting," He said.  
"You think?" she winced. "Asuka, how's your arm?" She said, leaning...leaning more than she had to on Touji.  
"It's...okay. Just kinda scraped. I'll walk you two to the infirmary."  
She got up, clutching her arm, and helped Hikari by putting her arm around the other side. Touji, thankful (FOR ONCE) for Asuka's doing, helped them all limp towards the infirmary...  
All three had apparently lost Shinji Ikari from their minds...for now.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
  
Up on the rooftop, the writer had just finished his latest rendezvous. He smiled in his head, because he couldn't seem to bring himself to smile out loud even though he was the only one around. He made sure his spelling was perfect and the kanji he'd used was just clear enough to decipher from a mile away. Then he folded it up perfectly and symmetrically as possible and stuffed it (well, slipped it in) a nice red envelope.  
It was the second. The second of many.   
And soon it was to be in the hands of the person it so perfectly described within its words, Shinji thought. He walked down the stairs and, glad to see none of the posse was in the halls (because they were all tending to each other in the infirmary), he stuck the note into her locker and walked off, pretending he had done nothing, nothing out of the ordinary, actually...  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
  
"So is that better?"  
"Well, it's not so sore."  
Asuka finished bandaging Hikari's ankle and she sat back on the pillows and sighed.  
"How's your arm?"  
"Oh, well, I put some iodine on it and then just stuck a band-aid on it. It was just a cut, that's all."  
Hikari nodded. Then she turned towards her 2nd nurse. "I guess we should thank you, huh?"  
Touji turned red. What is she doin'? Does she even remember dis mornin' or wut??! Coz I shurr do... "Well....I...yuh don't hafta."  
Hikari shook her head. "No, no. Thanks, Suzuhara. I mean if you weren't there when you were, Asuka would have been bleeding to death and my ankle would have swelled up..." She bent her head. "So thanks."  
Asuka was watching this and wondered the same thing as Touji: did Hikari remember that they had just confessed their love for each other that very morning?  
"Hikari," She said again. "Don't you even remember what you said to this dud this morning?"  
Hikari looked up, puzzled. "Um...no. In fact, after I fell I don't really remember anything that happened before I reached the stairs."  
Touji raised his eyebrows. "You...yuh mean yuh don't?!?"  
"No..." She tapped her finger on her chin. "I guess I hit my head while falling down...I...I'm sorry about whatever it is, Suzuhara."  
Touji sat down and held his head in his hands and groaned inwardly.  
Asuka noticed this and immediately found a space to poke through. "Oh, what's up, Touji? What are you so mad about?"  
He turned pink. "Nothin'."  
"It doesn't seem like much 'nothin' to me, mister."  
"Shut up, devil woman."  
Asuka chucked a roll of gauze at him and he threw a thermometer at her face.   
"Hey! Stop," Hikari said (being the commanding school officer she always was.) "Now, I'm sure whatever happened this morning, me and Suzuhara can sort it out next time."  
Touji sighed and Asuka tsked. "That might be and it might not be, Hikari."  
Of course, having had a nasty fall, Hikari didn't know what it was. She kind of wanted to know, because it seemed pretty big, but she didn't want to know, because she might not be able to take the whole thing. But overall, Hikari was a girl. Girls want to know things, whether it's their business or not. It's nature.  
"Well, I'm getting out of here. I'm not going to stay my life in a room smelling of dorks and disinfectant," Asuka smirked, nodding to Touji. "I'm talking about you."  
He stood up and stepped in front of Asuka's warpath. "Maybe you should geddout if yeh don't wunna be hit," He snarled.  
Asuka threw up her hands. "Oooh, I'm so scared, I'm going to get hit by Touji," She giggled. "Let me remind you I've handled evil monsters about a hundred times your size! You, on the other hand...you're not a problem."  
He raised his fist. "Oh yeah?"  
Hikari stood up and grabbed his ear. "Yeah. You can hit all the guys you want when school's out, Suzuhara, but when you're in my sight you AIN'T gonna hit one girl in your life, you hear me?!?"  
He nodded. "Um...yeah," He stuttered.  
"Good." She released his ear and you could definately see a red pinch. Then she walked after Asuka, who was trying not to laugh, out of the room.   
Touji sat there and tried not to have a panic attack about the so-called "next time" Hikari had said.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Asuka walked into the locker room with a haughty and not-so-discreet aura around her and kicked her shoe locker open.  
"So, Hikari," She said. "You swear that you don't remember anything about this morning?"  
"N-no..."  
"Oh, alright then. Nothing about this?" Asuka held up an envelope with Hikari's name on it.  
Hikari took the letter and examined it. "Oh...oh!" She raised her head. "I know! I think I know!"  
"So you remember!"  
"No."  
Asuka sighed and shook her head. "Alright, then. Whatever. She took her shoes out, but as she pulled them out, a red envelope fell out with it.  
She blushed (she blushed!) and pulled out the envelope, admiring the perfect way whoever was sending her these letters wrote Asuka on the front–just clear enough to see, graceful and calligraphy-like.  
Another one...  
"Hey, Hikari," She said. She picked up the envelope. "Let's read this love letter I got and see if you can remember anything about this fateful morning, eh?"  
She shrugged. "Sure. I mean, it might come as a shock, huh?"  
Asuka smirked. Like you know.  
She carefully opened the envelope and took out a nicely folded piece of paper. Together, the two girls read it as they slumped against the cold locker walls...  
  
To Asuka, for Die Liebe besiegt alles.....(*Love conquers all)  
  
You, who can be  
scared and weak  
little and afraid  
a flawless masterpiece of  
beauty and red  
You, who can be  
surrounded by the flames  
that burn me in the night  
and yet you can't be scratched   
or burned  
by those burning orbs of light  
you, who can be what you want  
a million shades  
a million ways  
you, the girl of red  
the woman of crimson  
the goddess of pink.  
I–  
I am blank–  
white gray space nothing  
would it be fit, okay, would it be  
right   
to hold the woman of the blood red sea  
in my arms?  
  
~.~  
  
  
Asuka stared at the letter, trying to figure out how in the world these words, these clusters of letters, could come out of someone's brain in such a beautiful and musical way like this that it could sound exactly like a song, and when read to herself, sounded like someone in her brain   
was serenading her, soothing her to sleep...  
She turned to Hikari, whose eyes were open in shock and her pale, freckled face was turning bright red.  
"I take it you remember," Asuka whispered.  
Hikari groaned. "I wish I didn't. We never really finished that conversation this morning, and now..."  
"You've gotta face it tomorrow," Asuka said. A tear slipped down her cheek.  
Hikari turned to Asuka and her mouth dropped open when she saw the tear, the salty water, the symbol of sadness, roll down her cheek....the weak (emphasize weak) tear...going down Asuka Langley Sohryu's cheek?!?!  
"A-Asuka..." Hikari stammered.  
Asuka breathed in. "You, you have the guy you love right in your homeroom. Me, I don't even know if the person of these poems is a guy..." She smiled and wiped the tear from her cheek. "Hey, lucky you, Hikari-chan. You're in love and he loves you back. Me, well, I'm falling in love with a piece of paper..."  
Hikari stood up. "Asuka, don't think like that. You'll find him."  
"Do you know for sure?" Asuka turned around, the cold glare once again pasted back on her face. "You're my friend, Hikari, but you can't tell the future." She grinned and waved. "It'd be nice if you could, though."  
Before Hikari could say another word of what only an idiot would call comfort, the red-headed German girl was out the door, out of the classroom, and nearly out of the school.  
Meanwhile, Hikari was sitting on the floor with her own letter inside her pocket. Slowly, she took it out and unfolded it, and read it over, and over, and over again....trying to feel what Asuka felt...but she would never know, because–  
"Hikari?"  
Hikari looked up and her heart started to race a million beats per second.  
Why me?  
"...Touji?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
End Note: I BET YOU HATE ME. I BET YOU HATE ME!!! HATE ME!!! GO AHEAD!!! THROW EGGS!!! *accepts eggs from crowd* I know y'all peepsh hate cliffies, but in my duty as an author, it is my honor to leave you on a cliffhanger. I know you hate me, but as soon as you review, I'll go out and make the 3rd chappy!!!!! I already made part of the next chapter. Oh yeah. I'm on a roooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.  
Asuka: Speaking of rolls, I'd like a California roll.  
Ladyx: You kiddin'? No way I'm passin' these babies up!  
Asuka: GIVE ME THE DAMN ROLL!  
Ladyx: MAKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!  
Asuka: Let's go.  
Ladyx: RARRR!!!  
Asuka: RARRY RARR RARR!!!  
Shinji: Can I have a latte?  
Waiter: Yes, Master Shinji.  
Shinji: Girls fighting, my own waiter, a latte. What else can I ask in life?  
  
  



	3. Rei and the Kiss

  
A/N: I only have one thing to say: It's time poor, neglected Rei got into this story! She's going to play an equally huge part as Shinji. Oohohoho, she'll get mingled in this whole thing, mark my words. I almost forgot about her! Oh, evil me! My 2nd fave Eva character, and I forget about her! Tsk tsk. Oh, and I have a second thing to say: Since a lot of people say this seems to be a run-on kind of layout, I'm gonna double space what needs to be double spaced. Easier?  
Note: Oh, yes, and I'm getting rid of the accent. Sorry about it, but it's faster....^__^  
MAJOR OOC DURING THE TOUJI+HIKARI PART!!! Only the first part, though. Hey, when you're confessing something, you don't expect the harshest guy on earth to say it like he's slaying someone to their death, would you!?  
Another Note!: Hmmm, let's see...oh yes. Due to my NEW revelation *see my new soon-to-be-released-fic,_ Yellow Obis_, for the details* there will be much more Rei interaction in here. I mean, who better to be a diversion...or winnah of Shinji's affections? No, it's not the end of the story, it's just a little jump-start for you guys....^____^  
  
THANKS TO MY PRE-READERS: ACGS and FinalMax. You guys are the best! ^___^  
  
To Asuka  
Chapter 3  
  
Rei Ayanami was on the roof, looking out absentmindedly into space as she usually did. Anyone who looked at her would probably think she was just daydreaming, or perhaps just spaced out. But contrary to popular belief, Rei was thinking in that brain of hers.  
  
She was thinking very much.  
  
For just a few days ago, she had been watching the Third Child out of the corner of her eye while he was on the roof, and she, unbeknownst to him, had been on the roof too–just at the corner behind the building that held the stairs, so he wouldn't see her. He had been writing something.   
  
To _her_, she had guessed. And she was right.  
  
If she hadn't been so fixed, Rei would have shuddered. Instead she closed her eyes and imagined blocking the Second Child out with a red permanent marker. It worked...a little.  
  
She just couldn't understand what he saw in that devil. She who called Rei Wondergirl, First, all these names the Second thought wouldn't hurt her. But they did. Ikari knew this. He knew she was hurt so much.   
  
But he didn't stop it.  
  
Her blood boiled. Why? Why did Second hate her so? Why did Ikari do nothing to stop her foolishness? Why had Ikari been writing to...to _her_?  
  
She got up and shook her head, as if doing so would shake the bad feelings away. But they didn't. It just made her dizzy.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Asuka was running home as fast as she could, with tears running down her cheeks and the latest poem in her clutched hand.  
  
_I'm such a dork_, she thought harshly._ I shouldn't be so jealous just because Hikari has the guy she wants practically under her nose. I mean, she's my friend. I can't get jealous...I can't..._  
She slowed down and furiously wiped a hand across her cheek.  
  
_But you are. _   
  
She scowled. Hikari and Touji. Touji and Hikari. Suzuhara and Horaki. The class dud and the class rep. No matter how you say it, it fits. On the other hand, Asuka and her secret admirer, Asuka and the Dot, Asuka and the Anonymous.   
  
Not exactly a ring there.  
  
She trudged up the sidewalk to the apartment, trying to dispel her anger in the cracks she stepped on.   
  
_Hikari is my friend,_ crack one. _Touji is good for her_, crack two. _These poems are great_, crack three. _I'll find whoever wrote it if it's the last thing I do_, crack four...  
She continued to do this until there were no more cracks. She had reached the door to the apartment. With another scowl she pushed it open and rode the elevator up to her house, thinking, thinking, maybe too much...  
  
_"You, who can be  
scared and weak  
little and afraid  
a flawless masterpiece of  
beauty and red...."_  
  
_ If I can't even figure out who wrote that, why am I such a flawless masterpiece?_  
  
_"I just can't help  
seeing myself  
in your eyes  
knowing you  
are just like  
me..."_  
  
_Just who are you, anyway?_  
  
_"...white gray space nothing  
would it be fit, okay, would it be  
right   
to hold the woman of the blood red sea  
in my arms?"  
  
No, it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be right for such a vicious devil to stand in a pure white blank space.   
_  
The elevator clang to a stop and she stepped out and flung open the door to the apartment. She could see a food plate in front of the darned penguin–Shinji was home.   
  
_Great, just what I need. Another dork to darken my day. Another person to tell me 'Why can't you treat me nicer'. Another person for me to hurt..._  
She clutched her red hair in frustration and anger. _What's happening to me?! Why am I being so _emotional?!?!   
  
Kicking aside her shoes, she threw her school bag on the couch and ran to her room. The tears were flying down her cheeks again, and for Third to see them would be the end of the Great Sohryu Asuka Langley. It would be her own demise, for she had promised never to cry again. And here she was, crying over some stupid love letters. What had she done to herself? She slapped herself mentally and wiped the tears away, as if to stop them. But they just kept coming against her own will.   
  
The door slammed as Asuka screamed in frustration....  
  
--------------------------   
  
Shinji was in his room, enjoying the solitary and isolation he so greatly welcomed with an empty house and his SDAT player. But the nice atmosphere was soon ended when he heard the door in the next room slam.  
  
His face burned.   
  
_Asuka._  
  
If it hadn't been for his will (what will?) and determination (_please_ ) and need to see what was up with Asuka (more to just _see _Asuka), he would have stayed in his room. And he almost did. But when Asuka slammed her door, she practically called for people to follow her.   
Shinji heard his own conscience call his name, anyway.  
  
_Oh Shinji, you need to get up and go see Asuka..._  
  
Damn consciences.   
  
He stood up and ripped the earphones from his ears. Then, tip-toeing as quietly as he could, he walked into the hallway and knocked on her door.  
  
"Asuka?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"Asuka."  
  
No answer.  
  
"Come on, Asuka."  
  
Finally, he heard her sob. "Shinji, just go away. I don't need you!"  
_Ooh, harsh._  
"But Asuka, maybe if you just told me what was wrong, maybe I'd be able to help."  
Fatal mistake, Shinji. Fatal mistake. Never tell Asuka you can help her. Never.  
  
"How can such a dense person like you be able to help this problem!??"  
  
He cringed. _How can such an un-feeling person like you possibly help me with_ my_ problems!?_ He wanted to shout. To scream. To tear open the door and confess that he loved her, that he'd loved her from the very start, that he wrote those poems and he didn't want to see her hurt ever again as long as he loved her. That the longing of denial dragged at his heart with every step that he took, that he almost _cried_ himself with grief as he wrote those poems. All he wanted to do was just kick the door down and tell her she was the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth.  
  
But such a situation will probably happen, uh, well, to put it nicely, never.  
  
"Asuka, really. You can't stay there sobbing forever," Shinji tried again.   
"I..." She paused and hacked her brain mercilessly for a good excuse. "I'm not crying, baka Shinji! Like I would ever cry again! I'm just....sobbing. There's a complete difference between _crying_ and _sobbing_, Third."  
He threw up his hands and sighed. _Sounds like crying to me_. "Fine. Whatever. Just don't expect me to cook you dinner."  
At this, he heard a pause of the "sobbing, not crying", soft shuffling, and then the door opened to reveal a puffy-eyed, tear-stained face and red tangled hair.  
  
Beautiful, beautiful Asuka.  
  
"Okay, baka, you won. Crying makes me hungry." She sniffled. "Being confused makes me hungry. Just looking at myself being so pathetic makes me want to puke, and I can't do that on an empty stomach. Make me some soup."  
  
It wasn't a choice. It was a demand.  
  
A "do it or die" demand.   
  
Shinji smiled to himself at getting Asuka out. The only things that got Asuka out of bed while she was crying was hunger, Kaji, Angels, and God beckoning Asuka to her fate. (_That hadn't happened yet, thank God, _Shinji thought.) He watched her as she grabbed two pieces of paper–  
Wait. Two pieces of paper?   
  
Shinji's face flushed, emptying all the paleness in his face, making it practically transparent. Two pieces of paper.   
  
Two letters.  
  
She'd been crying over _them!??!_  
  
He shook his head and walked to the kitchen. No way. She was too stubborn. She wouldn't cry over some stupid poems, some measly love letters. They were probably just hate letters or something.   
  
But what if they weren't? After all, to make Asuka cry, who said she'd never cry again after her mother's death, to make the Great Sohryu Asuka Langley cry, those had have to been some really harsh hate letters.  
  
Shinji sighed.   
_Girls._   
  
As the stove heated up, he bent down to Pen-Pen, who held up the empty plate of food he had been eating earlier.  
"Thanks, Pen-Pen," Shinji said. The penguin nodded. It started to waddle away when Shinji called it back.  
"Can I ask you a question?" The penguin nodded (but Shinji didn't know that). "Well...do you think Asuka would cry over some love letters?"  
The penguin started its thoughts.  
_  
Hubba hubba, Shin-chan's finally come to his senses and written the evil one on his feelings. But the evil one's got no feelings. The evil one wouldn't cry. Not even if her leg got torn off,_ the penguin thought to himself.  
  
"Wark," It answered simply, perhaps a summarization of what it had just thought, and waddled away.  
Shinji sighed._ Right, I'm so pathetic, I asked a penguin about my love life. How low can I sink?_  
  
Very low, Shin-chan, and you are sinking still.  
  
He grabbed a pot and some seaweed, tofu, and miso paste and started to make some miso soup. (A/N: No, won't end up like Ishagu's story! ^_^) While he started to prepare the soup, Asuka walked in, bleary eyed and cursing under her breath.  
  
She was still clutching those pieces of paper, and she looked very tired. She hadn't even bothered to comb her hair, which was sticking out every which way and lay flat on her head, a dull orangey-red.  
  
How attractive.  
  
She sat down at the table and smoothed out the papers. Then, in a moment of very un-Asuka-ness, she blurted out suddenly–  
  
"Hey Shinji? Would you fall in love with someone if they sent you really nice love letters?"  
He almost dropped his spoon. _What!??!!?_ He made sure he was still on Earth. Still existing. Not a holographic image in an alternate universe. _ASUKA ASKING ME THIS??! Oh my God, someone tell me I'm living in an alternate universe._  
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Shinji heard a voice telling him he was living in such a world and his worst fears were confirmed. But even in alternate universes, questions come with answers. So...  
  
"Um...I wouldn't know. I never get love letters."  
  
She smiled evilly. "That's right, Third is a failure at dating, I forgot."  
"Whatever you want to think, Asuka," Shinji muttered under his breath, but devils hear everything.  
"What's that supposed to mean?!? Has Third snagged himself a lucky catch? Ooh, wucky baby Third. Baby Third got himswef a wittle itty bitty girlfriend..."  
If he hadn't been so hungry, the pot of boiling water he was cooking would have ended up on Asuka's face. Forget beauty and love; she was pissing him off.  
  
Well, at the moment, anyway.  
  
Then Asuka realized something. She didn't know who had been sending her these letters. She'd asked every guy in school. All the dorks and the nerds, all the geeks and the loners, all the "cool" kids and all the "kids who think they're cool" kids. She even barged into the boy's bathroom, trying to evade the thick layer of smoke that was in there, and demanded an explanation while coughing her head off. She'd asked every guy in schoool, every guy in school, except...  
  
_Shinji! _   
  
The nerves and gears of Asuka's brain clicked into place and typed out S-H-I-N-J-I. Of course. Who _else?!_ Shinji was practically the answer for everything. He was the answer for Eva Unit-01. He was the answer for Asuka's stress! He was the answer to the question _who is the loner? _Of course, there were a lot of loners in school, Asuka knew that. She'd asked every single one that day in school. And who had but been out of the picture at that moment? Who had been MIA on the roof?  
  
Why, the Third Child, of course.   
  
Evil smiles come with evil laughs, but Asuka had no time for an evil laugh. Instead, her twisted face twisted even more twistedly into an evil, nerve-hacking grin. The dustmites on the floor writhed in pain as her teeth shone brightly and flies dropped dead out of the air as her evil aura grew larger and larger. Soon, the whole room was bathed in an eerie red glow.  
  
"Oh, _Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii_...."  
  
Shinji stopped dead in his miso soup making and froze. He knew this voice. He cowered beneath the wrath that held it. This was the "Asuka-Has-An-Evil-Plan-That-Makes-Flies-Drop-Dead" voice. Only powerful beings would confront her in this tone of voice. And if you are nothing of the sort, then you are an _idiot _to confront her.   
  
  
But Shinji was not, and will never be, a powerful being.  
  
But in the face of truth, real truth, he wasn't much of a real idiot, either.  
  
He continued to slice onions hoping the scary lady would go away. But even in alternate universes such as Shinji's, sexually related remarks come with answers, no matter how vulgar the remark be. So, with all the braveness in his heart (heh heh, _suuuure_), Shinji turned to face the eerie red glow.  
  
"Y-yes, Asuka?"  
  
She walked over to him and smiled.  
  
_Oh God, if something hard would just drop on my head, everything would be just great,_ Shinji thought desperately. _Asuka smiled at me and a remark of humility didn't even follow it up. Oh God oh God oh God..._  
  
"Shinji," Asuka said in a....suggestive voice. "I wanna ask you something."  
  
The onions screamed as Shinji's knife cut them harsher than intended to. The adrenaline in Shinji rose up to quite an extreme number.  
  
"Um.....shuh, shuh, shuh, sure..."  
  
"Well," Asuka said, leaning on the countertop. "If you really liked my breasts, would you write a love letter to them?"   
It took a second for this to sink in. But in Shinji's alternate reality, seconds are very slow.  
  
  
Finally...  
  
  
  
"_WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!_" Shinji screamed. Pen-Pen squawked in his refrigerator, the knife hit the floor, narrowly missing Shinji's toe. The onions hit the ground and a colony of ants went towards it, feeding mercilessly. The nerves, clicks, gears, and wires in Shinji's brain all melted at once and a red flashing sign on the top of his head indicated he was "experiencing: mental meltdown, brain damage, extreme heart rate, extreme number of adrenaline, and 'thermal expansion' to the max."  
  
"WHAT THE _HELL_ ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!??!" He screamed again, clutching his heart and stepping on a mixture of ants and onions. He did not hear them scream, however. He was screaming himself.  
  
Asuka, however, was not in an answering mood; she was laughing her ass off. She was leaning over the counter for support, replaying Shinji's reaction in her head over and over again, one hand slapping the countertop and the other hand clutching her stomach as she doubled over.   
  
Shinji scowled.  
  
_ Yeah, right, the devils always steal your innocence, don't they?_  
  
Finally, the devil regained a poised stance, trying not to burst out into hysterics again.  
  
"Oh God, Shinji, you don't know how funny that was. Seriously. Funniest thing I've ever done to you in my whole entire life..." She giggled.  
  
Shinji scowled again. "Oh, sure. Right. I'm sure it was." Then he looked up. "But, um..." He turned pink. "What were you...you know...._really _trying to say when you asked me the--the--" He gulped. "_That _question?"  
  
Asuka shook her head. "Oh, never mind. That was just a pretty clever follow-up to my mistress stroke question, don't you think?" She grinned. "Anyways, I know you really like them anyway...."  
  
Shinji paled again, but Asuka continued on.  
  
"I want to know....IF YOU'VE BEEN WRITING SECRET LOVE LETTERS IN THE FANTASY OF YOUR EUPHORIC MIND--TO _ME_--THINKING THAT I WILL SOMEHOW LOVE YOU BACK FOR IT?!?"  
  
Shinji blinked. "Excuse me?"  
  
She sighed, wondering how such a person like Yui Ikari could have birthed such a _being, _and pointed to the papers.   
  
"These letters–these_ love_ letters. Don't give me that 'What're you talking about, Asuka?' crap. I moan about them every day and you tell me to stop because I'm annoying you. Well, here's the problem. I. Don't. Know. Who. Sent. Me. These. Letters. And I think it's _you_!"   
  
(More) sweat was seriously rolling down Shinji's face as he practically murdered the tofu he was about to put in the soup (Yes, the ants had taken all the onions).   
  
"Uh, well, uh, what if it was some other guy?"  
She rolled her eyes. "I asked every guy in school, _dumkopf_."  
_Oh, did she?_ Shinji grimaced. _She's good._  
_  
Too good, maybe._  
  
"Well, Asuka, I, uh, I....don't believe in love letters. I think they're sexist."   
Oh _God_, where did _that_ come from?  
Yeah, it was a lame answer, but what else could he say? Unfortunately, Asuka was already trying not to laugh–again.  
  
No, she was laughing.  
  
Very hard.   
  
  
"Sexist!? Oh, Shinji, you've really gone....gone over the top this time. Don't give me that crap. If you didn't write it, don't give me such a lame answer. 'It's sexist,'" Asuka mocked in a voice that said whoever had said it had an IQ of 2. "Oh yeah, it's reeeaaallly sexist. I'm Third, I'm as limp as hell, and I think love letters are freakin' sexist, if I even knew what it meant!" She burst into laughter again.  
  
"Well..." Shinji tore the seaweed in half in a rather violent way. "I didn't write it, that's all. Why would I give a letter like that to you, or to anyone, in that case?"   
She scowled. "You're right. Baka Shin couldn't write a declaration of love if baka Shin tried. Anyway, don't take that whole thing–you know,_ that_ whole thing–into your puny little brain. It was nothing. Just fun stuff. Anyway, it's not like you would've known how to handle it." She ran off, smirking, obviously back to her old self. "Who am I kidding? Third's so..."  
And then she started the 'Third's So...' list, first given the 1st day she'd arrived in Tokyo-3, ranging from adjectives to curse words. If you're Shinji, it's not nice to hear. But then again, it was better than admitting he wrote those letters, the very ones they'd argued about, to Asuka.  
  
Right?  
  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
  
Meanwhile, in the shoe room/locker room of home room 2-A, two people were trying not to embarrass themselves to absolute and complete death.  
  
One of them, the girl, was blushing so hard she was the color of...well, really bright red. Brighter than Asuka's plug suit, brighter than Eva Unit-02, brighter than a sea of LCL. She was also twiddling with a piece of paper that looked like it had been read many times before–it was worn and wrinkling at the edges.  
  
The other, the one in the tracksuit, was equally as nervous, hair-racking nervous, as the girl, but he had the sense to keep his blood level down enough so his face was not as red. To keep himself from picking up a chair and throwing it across the room in a state of frenzy and nervousness, he crossed the room to where she was and slumped down beside her.  
  
In this moment of complete silence, a blue-haired girl entered the room as quietly as air. When she saw the two--both slumped against the back of the locker room, one of them, Hikari, looking at her thumbs, her face quite red, and the other one, Touji, looking quite tenderly yet discreetly at the girl sitting next to him–she stopped, dead frozen. What she was there for, only she knew. But none of the two noticed that she had entered the room. And she had no plans to alert them.   
  
Oh, sneaky, sneaky Rei...   
  
"Hey," Touji said softly to Hikari. "I thought you'd left already."  
"Well, no...I just...didn't feel like going home, I guess."  
  
Touji looked away from Hikari and at her hands, which, he noticed, held a piece of paper...  
He shook his head. Nah, it couldn't be it.  
  
Could it?  
  
"Yeah, me too."  
And a hush fell once again over the room.  
Touji looked at Hikari again, this time more intently than before. He gently placed a hand under her chin and brought it to his level so they were facing eye-to-eye.  
He noticed her face was practically crimson now, and that just made him want to kiss her even more. She was embarrassed. But what for?  
  
Oh, about a million reasons, Touji...  
  
"Hikari," He said slowly, as if to annunciate every word to its best extent. "I need to tell you something."  
"Oh...you...do?" She asked back, her heart beating a zillion beats a second.  
His hand reached out to stroke her cheek and the bubbling in Hikari's stomach rose--but not enough, thank God.   
"But..." he whispered as he brought her face closer to his. "Sometimes..."  
Hikari's eyelids started to grow heavier and heavier the closer his hand brought her face towards his. She was expecting the worst, and yet she was ready for the best...  
  
"Words don't always....work."  
  
It was only the slightest of a whisper, so unusual for Suzuhara–him to be whispering sweet words into someone's ear–especially Hikari....  
  
_Is this luck? _   
  
And then she felt it. His lips pressing against hers. She almost melted, for God's sake, if his hand had not been clutching her shoulder, which she now noticed. What was better, him doing this or saying he loved her? Was this wrong? Was this too intimate? What if someone walked in? All the questions melted into one heap in Hikari's head, left unanswered. She didn't know and didn't care. A million beats were racing through her pulse by now, and she was so full of ecstasy she could die...  
  
In the meantime, Touji was feeling the same. All those things he was supposed to be seeing under the darkness of his closed eyelids–fireworks, music, birds, hearts, bombs...he was seeing all of them. Colors and noise, all the colors, all the noise, mixing together in a pot of mush...then a twitch of reality slapped him in the face. What in the hell was wrong with him? What was he _doing? _He was kissing the class rep, for God's sakes. But it felt _right. _Was it supposed to be wrong?  
Likewise, he didn't know, and didn't care.  
  
Then they parted.   
  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
  
  
"Asuka," Shinji called into the living room where Asuka was flipping channels and re-reading the letters for the thirty millionth time. "Asuka, I'm going to the store."  
  
"Why?"   
  
It was so un-Asuka like, for Asuka to be asking such a difficult question to such a simple statement as "I'm going to the store".  
"We're out of orange juice..."  
She turned around on the couch and raised an eyebrow. "Did we just run out?"  
He shook his head, wondering where in the hell this conversation was going. "No. There hasn't been any since last night."  
She growled at him. "Well then what the hell are you waiting for, Third?!? If I can't drink orange juice, I have to drink beer. No way I'm going to end up like Misato, some drunk slob lying around with practically no clothes on. Get your butt out the door. Get two six-packs this time, okay? No wonder we ran out so fast..."  
  
He closed the door to her mumbling and raving, silently happy the Second Child had returned to her "normal" status.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
The moon.  
  
The stars.  
  
The ocean.  
The sun.  
  
In her eyes.  
  
Touji stared into Hikari's eyes after silently parting their kiss. She was blushing, and he bet that he was, too...argh.   
  
Damn hormones.   
  
"So," He said, back to a normal loud voice again. "You can see what I was trying to say."  
Her jaw practically dropped and she looked up suddenly, her eyes narrowed. "That's it?!?"  
Touji fell back in shock and amazement. "What...!? Whaddya mean, 'That's it'?!"  
  
Hikari's eyes narrowed furthur.   
  
"I mean, is that all you're going to do!? Say 'Words don't always work' and kiss me?!" Her growing aura stood directly over him, with a suggesting tone of "YOU-BETTER-DO SOMETHING-BETTER-THAN-THAT-,-SUZUHARA-,-OR ELSE YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF REJECTION!"  
  
Ouch. She was in attack mode.  
  
Okay, he was getting mad now. What was he supposed to have done? Got down on one knee and frikkin' proposed to her a declaration of his feelings? Give her a ring?! Kiss her _feet!? _Ask for her love?!   
  
No way. He wasn't a Prince Charming.  
  
"What the hell did you want me to do, then!?"  
In an unexpected action, she burst into tears and flung her arms around him–causing him to scream violently and jump a little.  
"_Say_ you love me! _Tell_ me you love me! Kisses don't always say the same thing you want to say, either! Do you love me? Or are you_ in _love with me? Do you love me as a friend? Or do you love me like...you_ know_!"  
Tears ran down her cheeks as she loosened her grip on Touji. He looked at her.  
"O-Okay," He said. Calming down a bit, he smiled a little and pulled her into a hug. "Aishiteru, ne? I always have. Are you happy now?"  
(*aishiteru=I love you, for those who don't know.)  
If it had not been such a romantic moment, she would have slapped him. But she didn't.  
She smiled, exhaled with relief, and hugged him back.  
"Me too," She said, the last of her tears already drying up. "Me too."  
  
  
The blue-haired girl in the corner, who up until now had been rigid and silent, her eyes on both the two, suddenly felt a gush of confusion let loose in her brain.   
  
_What...._ she thought hard, trying to soak everything up. ...was_ that?_  
  
Any normal girl would know, of course, what a declaration of love is. Any normal teenage girl would understand the delicateness and romance of the situation. But Ayanami Rei, being different, didn't know what had just happened there. Sure, she'd heard the words "I love you" before. But they never really had a meaning to Rei. Love never really had a meaning to Rei.  
  
She was confused beyond belief. Her emotionless brain started to flood with the confusion of love and tears and all of what she'd witnessed. It hurt too much to think about.   
  
But she had to know what in the heck this love thing was all about, and why every person seemed experienced in its field–everyone, except her.   
  
In a rush, she ran from the room, her head aching.  
  
Neither of the two noticed. But that's what happens when you're in love, right?  
  
-------------------------  
  
  
Shinji walked out into the Tokyo-3 sun, shielding his eyes from the rays that showed out above the clouds.   
  
It's a nice day, he thought. Really beautiful.  
  
He walked along the road to the grocery store, looking at the blue sky, checking to see if he had enough money, when out of the blue–just as quick as a flash–he collided with somebody.  
"Ow!" He said, falling back. The person didn't say anything.  
_How rude_, Shinji thought, rubbing his back and making sure his wallet was still there. It was. So he decided to take action.  
"Hey!" He said, getting up, his hand in front of his face so he wouldn't get blinded by the bright sun. "That wasn't very–"  
  
He stopped.   
  
He froze.  
  
His eyes opened wide.  
  
For standing in front of him, hands at her sides, blue hair swishing delicately in the wind, was Rei Ayanami–looking very scared, and very hurt.  
As Shinji's senses came back to normal, he gasped. "Oh! Ayanami! I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Are you hurt?"  
She shook her head and rubbed her temples. "N-No," She said shakily. "I...I am just fine. I am just a little...I do not know...I feel a little....strange. I do not know this feeling. Can you tell?"  
  
Shinji looked at her closely. Her face was paler than ever. Her hands were shaking. She was out of breath.  
"I can't tell," Shinji said, wiping off the dirt from his pants. "But I can see you're a little shaky. I...I'm going to the store. To buy groceries," He smiled. "Do you want to come? Maybe I could buy you a cold drink and you'd feel better."  
  
Now, Rei wasn't offered much in her life. A few clones, an Eva, a dad who cared more for her than his own son, and a dingy apartment. They were all weird offers, but she took them anyway, out of pure unfeelingness. But now, she was being offered a real offer. Not a "We'll offer you an Evangelion for your life, how 'bout it" kind of offer, but a "You seem kind of shaky. I'll buy you a drink at the store. Want to come?"  
  
Rei stared at Shinji for a moment in complete shock.  
  
_Go? Go with Ikari? To the store?_  
  
Rei didn't know what to do; what expression to put on her face; what to think; what rate her heart should be beating at the moment. She was too confused. After all, she'd just seen Touji and Hikari confess their love for each other–and kiss. Rei had never seen a kiss close-up before. On TV, maybe, but that was seldom she ever watched TV. Maybe once on the street, for the people who had no shame of doing so. But she had just seen one, up close. And now, she was being offered to go with Ikari to the store.  
  
Together!  
  
Whatever feeling possessed Rei at the moment, she didn't know. It wasn't familiar. It was very new. But she did know she'd never experienced it before.   
  
It just took over her.  
  
In a flash, she lightly touched his shoulder and smiled one of her rare, half-smiles.  
  
"Alright. I accept your offer."  
  
Shinji did not feel uncomfortable about her hand on his shoulder. In fact, he_ liked_ it. Orange juice was getting pushed to the back of his mind. Asuka was getting pushed to the back of his mind. But in his reverie, he did not notice. He did not care.   
  
He merely smiled. And started to walk.   
  
  
----------------------------  
End Note: WOO HOO!!!! I never thought I'd get this chapter done!!!! Oh my God!!! It took me FOH-EVA!!!! God, I thought that with everything I was going to die! But...  
I'm alive. Thank God!  
Chapter Four won't be up till AWHILE, I assure you of this. I mean, I got a chorus concert and everything. Need to sing.  
But don't worry, it won't take THAT long. It'll be up by New Year's Eve, promise. Maybe even by CHRISTMAS!!! This'll be my present to you all!  
Oh yes. MY BIRTHDAY IN 12 DAYS!!! (Today is December the 4th, which reminds me:)  
  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,  
ASUKA LANGLEY SOHRYU.  
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES, HOPES, AND DREAMS COME TRUE IN YOUR PATH ALONG LIFE.   
Choose Shinji, that's my hope for you. Don't kill Rei if Shinji chooses her over you. I mean, I'd be pissed too, but you can't kill the girlfriend. No way. Bad choice...  
:D  
Happy Early Holidays,  
ladyxkodomo  
  
P.S. Oh, just a note. In the uploading process, I uploaded _L Sharp--_ you know, the sequel or accomadating story to _So You Take the Bow Like This_--along with chapter 3, so in the rush of this you might've missed it? If you want to read it, it's up. Just in case you don't notice. Okay! Jah! I'm gone! *disappears in a puff of pink smoke*  



	4. And it Gets Better

  
  
A/N: I know. You're going to savagely rip me apart, limb by limb, watching my blood splatter to and fro, ignoring my screams of agony, and.....yeah. But I just wanna say I'M SO FRICKING SORRY FOR THIS HUGE, HUGE, HUGE, MONTH-LONG DELAY!!!!! The reasons are:  
one: i had a lot of homework to do.  
two: my grades were going down.  
three: i had this MAJOR WRITER'S BLOCK, it's not even funny.  
four: i lost inspiration, i had to e-mail it to one of my pre-readers halfway to see if he had any ideas. (and he did!!! thanks so much danny!!!)  
five: i had so many ideas for this chapter, and to stick them all in here, and make them good, was not easy.  
six: um...there are more.  
In WordPerfect, this thing was about 17 pages long. And I hope, hope, hope you enjoy it, I hope it's worth the long wait. Thanks for all my faithful reviewers, my fans, and my prereaders: Danny and FinalMax. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!  
In a metaphoric sense. (haha.)  
Disclaimer: God, haven't done one of these in a million years. I do not own anything in this fic, except for coconut juice. Thus, Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shin Seiki Evangelion does not belong to me, but to the oh-so-talented Gainax Studios.  
  
  
To Asuka  
Chapter Four  
  
Asuka sat on the couch, doing the wonderful sport of "channel-flipping". She paused on every channel, hoping to find something that was as amusing as when Shinji almost dropped the knife on his foot (we pause here for Asuka's laughter).   
  
However, there was nothing on TV, nothing at all. Asuka yawned and ran her fingers through her tangled hair, a result from her pathetic emotions just an hour or so before. The letters she had grabbed before exiting her room were still clutched into her hand--she wouldn't dare to lose those. A giant Rei swould have to come and rip her to shreds before she'd give up those letters.  
  
She scowled through her dry lips, yet another result of pathetic-ness. So, she'd asked Shinji--and he'd said no. Where did that leave her? At a completely blank spot. She didn't know who it was. She was left with nobody. An empty slot. One of those "Insert name here _________"  
  
But she didn't have a name.  
  
Damn, Asuka thought disgustedly as she flipped to another boring channel. I'm going to find out who sent me these things if it's the last thing I do.  
----------------------  
Meanwhile, while the skies above Tokyo-3 shone a radiant blue and the nonexistent birds chirped in a few people's minds, Ayanami Rei was trying to figure out a certain emotion that was currently inhabiting her brain.   
  
She listed all the possible symptoms in her head:  
Out of breath, one. Loss of words, two. Sudden actions, three...  
  
Well, that got her nowhere.   
  
She continued to walk alongside Shinji, who kept glancing at the blue-haired girl next to him from time to time. Every so often he noticed a puzzled or thoughtful look on her face.  
  
No matter how normal Rei may seem to be one moment, she always gets so more mysterious...  
  
Finally, Rei thought back to the moment in the classroom. Out of breath. Well, Suzuhara-san and Horaki-san had not seemed like they were breathing normally. If their irregular breathing pattern had continued, Rei thought, I might have had to perform CPR.   
Loss of words. That was definitely one of them--Rei had stood there for a full five minutes before one of them said a word. Sudden actions--that was also definitely one of her "signs". She had never seen so many sudden reflexes before; none of which had seemed planned.  
  
So much you can learn, Rei thought in the back of her mind, when eavesdropping on people.  
  
Then she remembered what they had said "Tell me you love me..." "Aishiteru, ne?" "Are you in love with me?" Well, of course, the silent pandemonium of the moment had taken Rei by so much surprise she hadn't noticed that every sentence had one word in common-  
Love...  
  
Shinji glanced at Rei again, who was now squinting at the ground with such fixed concentration. He had to admit, he had never seen Rei so focused.   
Actually, it was kind of scary.  
  
He was about to tap her on the shoulder and ask her if she was alright when in a flash, the blue head turned towards Shinji in a sudden movement and asked--  
  
"Ikari-san? What is love?"  
  
Now this particular question caught Shinji off guard. Why wouldn't it? A teenage boy does not expect a girl to suddenly turn around and ask him, "What is love?"  
  
Heck, Shinji didn't know what love is.   
  
Shinji didn't even know how to explain his Eva.  
  
He looked up at the sky, squinting, trying to look focused and concentrated like Rei had. She was staring at him intently, waiting for an answer, and Shinji was determined to give one. Not the right answer, of course, God, who could explain love? But a normal answer. An answer you would expect your average teenage boy to give you.  
  
(But let us keep in mind that none of the Eva pilots are average teenagers.)  
  
Shinji looked at a cloud and pondered over the possible answers he could give Rei.  
'Well, love is happiness, and joy, and of course, sadness...'  
  
Shinji shook his head. No, that's too confusing...I don't think Rei has ever experienced all three at the same time. That answer would have just left her with more questions.  
'Love is complicated, and I can't explain it...'  
  
He smirked. In other words, I don't know what the hell love is.  
  
Sighing, he turned to Ayanami. She was looking at him with quite a fixed look, and Shinji could tell she wanted an answer. But there was a problem:  
  
He did not have one.   
Deciding that he had no idea whatsoever of what love was (I mean, who the heck would?), he stumbled for any words that sounded almost right.  
  
"Well..." He started. "Love is, umm...well...it's...complicated..."  
Rei, to his surprise, nodded seriously. "Yes. It is complicated." Then she stopped walking and turned to him. "But one like you must have an idea about what it is."  
  
Shinji was, in a word, appalled. Rei Ayanami, First Child, Ms. Expressionless, Wondergirl, (and the list goes on), was actually encouraging Shinji to explain about something so delicate as....Love.  
He opened his mouth and closed it again. No way. He couldn't do this. Shinji was too....caught up in his own hiatus to explain love. Hell, he was in a love dilemma. How in the world could he do this? It was too hard. Too difficult.   
  
He shook his head, smiled a little, and turned to Rei. "Im sorry, Ayanami," He said. "I just...can't....explain it."  
  
Rei stared at him with a blank expression, but in her mind she was a bit angry. Shinji was a....normal person, at least to Rei. He was born with real parents. He knew what emotions were and could tell what he was feeling (most of the time). He was not cloned and did not have someone else's DNA implanted into him. He was...a real human. So why could he not at least give her a small definition of love? It was all she asked for. A definition of a four-letter-word that sounded so flimsy and small. Was that too much to ask?  
But she could not get mad. She was not used to getting so angry, after all. She sighed and put her fingers on Shinji's shoulder.  
  
"I suppose that is alright."  
  
Shinji looked at her fingers, then back at her. Rei was certainly acting strange. First, she had bumped into him, which was unusual since she did not run outside that much. In fact, Shinji didn't think she ran at all. Then, she had asked him what love was. Very unusual. And again, she had placed her fingers on his shoulder...now that was something to think about.  
But there was no time for thinking, for they had reached the store. Shinji turned to Rei, her fingers slipping off his shoulder, and opened the door.  
  
"Here we are," He said, smiling. "You go in first."  
  
That expressionless look pasted back on her face ("Damn," Shinji thought), she walked in cautiously and waited for Shinji to follow.   
For a second, Shinji stood there, looking at Rei. Such a mysterious girl. So full of secrets, so full of answers that she didn't even know she had. That beautiful mysteriousness surrounded her like an aura--Shinji could almost see it. It warped around her like a thin sheath. It gave her that almost-smile, that direct gaze...that....that beauty....  
He cocked his head and stared at her a little more as Rei stood there solidly, not moving, her gaze fixed on a random spot. He couldn't tell her what love was. He just couldn't...  
  
Because every single time he tried to find an answer, the only thing that came up that was associated with that word, that was fixated with that word, that Shinji could think of, was Asuka.  
  
But in the back of his mind, he knew that Asuka wasn't the only one. That stupid window of opportunity in Shinji's head was opening its drab curtains once more, and letting something in. The poorly sewn curtains knew Shinji well. And they knew, as they let this new thing in–that they were making the right decision.  
  
So as the ugly curtains let in a blossoming love for Rei, slightly--but not all the way--pushing aside the love for Asuka, Shinji closed the door behind him and walked into the store.   
---------------------------------  
  
'So come  
take my hand  
we'll walk  
through life  
together...'  
  
Letters swam before her eyes, words lost their form and scrambled underneath her placid gaze. A sigh escaped her dry lips and blew on the crinkled pieces of paper. She grabbed the remote by her side and, with a single yet intricate flip of her hand, switched the television off.  
Asuka stood up and walked into the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes. She was confused, bored, angry, frustrated, and probably insane. There was a lone can of opened orange juice on the kitchen table.   
  
Aah, so we do have some more, she thought with the thinking of a fox who has spotted their prey. Baka Shinji, he cannot see.  
  
With a single gulp, she downed the sweet, sticky, and supposedly nutritional liquid. Then she flexed her long, rubbery-feeling fingers and crushed the can in her hands, a loud crack ripping through the silence of the apartment.  
  
That, she growled, was for whoever wrote those letters, leaving me in such pain and agony, leaving me a pathetic mass of skin.  
She threw the can in the trash and walked into the foyer. She looked evilly at the door, and with a swift movement, kicked it harshly.  
  
And that, she thought, rubbing her foot at the same time, was for writing such beautiful things about me when they weren't true!  
Looking around once more, she spotted a pole on the wall. She didn't know what it was doing there, and frankly, didn't care. She picked it up, held it in a striking position in front of the stupid, stupid door, and narrowed her eyes so far that she could feel her eyebrows touching her nose.  
  
And this, She scowled violently, Is for not just telling me who you are!  
The pole went straight for the door, but it did not hit it. Instead, it opened suddenly and a hand reached out and grabbed it.  
  
"Damn!" Asuka growled. She tried to pull the pole back, but the hand held firm.  
"What the hell are you doing, Asuka!?" The hand's owner demanded. "Trying to stick a hole through the door? We only got one door, you know."  
Asuka let go of the pole, but it held straight by the other hand. "Misato. You're home, I see."  
Misato let the pole go and it made a clank on the ground. She shrugged and closed the door behind her.  
  
"Well, I decided to come home early."  
  
She kicked off her shoes and made her usual route to the Land of Beer (the fridge). In a suggestive gesture, she threw open the door, grabbed a can, opened it with a satisfying *pop*, and drained it sloppily.  
"Ugh..." Asuka stood by the entrance to the kitchen and wrinkled her nose. "Misato, that is disgusting...."  
  
Beer drops hit the floor with a splash as the last of the beer was digested. Thoroughly satisfied with her swigging, Misato turned to Asuka and gave her a lazy thumbs-up.  
  
"Well, that's my job," Misato said casually, already cracking open five more beers. "Trying to dirty the minds of young people by drinking obsessively in front of them. Are you inflicted yet, Asuka?"  
Asuka just stared at Misato like she was a lunatic. She probably was, anyway–she was downing three beers at a time.  
"No, I'm ever so sorry, you haven't," Asuka said sarcastically. "I'm too busy puking over a certain wimpy-assed boy named Ikari Shinji, I haven't noticed your torrid love affair with beer."  
  
Misato shook her head and cracked open about three more. "Asuka, that was cold. Shinji may be a little....uh...you know..." She waved her hands in the air, trying to find an answer. "Um...let's see..."  
"Shall I find a thesaurus for you?" Asuka said flatly. "Or will your vocabulary be freed from alcohol any time soon?"  
  
Misato just stuck her tongue out, then snapped her fingers. "Oh! I got it. Shin-chan's just a little shy. You know? He's not very....open. Like you," She said matter-of-factly, pointing a finger at Asuka.  
  
Just as the counter attack in Asuka's larynx made its way to her lips, she noticed something. Her hands–they were empty. Now, to a normal, average, day-to-day person, empty hands are nothing out of the ordinary. But as Asuka looked open-mouthed at her hands, she noticed there was something....missing.  
  
"Gott in Himmel!" Asuka screamed. "Where are they?"  
Misato looked up from her beer. "Did you lose a finger?"  
  
Asuka threw one of her "I-Can-Make-Flies-Drop-Dead" looks that consists of daggers, knives, and ugly things, and Misato quickly looked back to her cans, scowling about the dysfunctional teenagers she lived with.  
While evil things were coming out of Misato's mouth, Asuka was running around frantically, trying to look for her letters, retracing her steps. Unfortunately, her laughter and fatigue had left her mind sort of cloudy, and she couldn't exactly retrace her steps the way she'd have liked to.  
  
"Oh God," She murmured, "Oh God. Gott in Himmel...where did I leave those two frikin'...little...oh scheisse..."  
  
She stopped in the middle of the hallway and stopped to think. Well, Shinji got me out of my room, and then I made fun of him, oh God that was good...and then....and then he left for juice...so what was I doing...?  
Her eyes drifted into the living room, where Pen-Pen had scuttled over to the tv and was flipping channels with his wing.   
  
Tv....channel-flipping?  
  
A-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. There you go.  
  
"Oh yeah!" She ran over to the coffee table, and there they were: two pieces of paper, crumpled up to the nines, wore down and torn in a zillion places–but overall readable. (Sort of.)  
"Oh God, I'd thought I'd lost them...whew," She sighed, and knelt down to Pen-Pen's level, her gaze softening. "See, you stupid arse penguin, if I hadn't seen you, I wouldn't have noticed–"  
  
Yes, it was true. If Asuka had not seen Pen-Pen flipping channels, she would not have found her letters. But as she talked to him now, she noticed something. Something...not healthy.  
  
"Geez, I'm talking to a penguin," Asuka snarled, quickly pulling away from Pen-Pen, who exhaled in relief. "I can't believe myself..."  
And with that, and the letters tucked away safely in Asuka's hand, she flounced off into her room, leaving Misato behind drinking the new six-pack of beer that Shinji had hidden under the sink.  
Oh, you're clever, Shin-chan, Misato thought, cracking open a few more. But the beer always comes through....don't you, wittle wubby dubby wuns...? Oh yes, you do...  
And down the sweet, sweet liquid went, while Misato raved on, telling her precious baby beers that they would always be important to her, even more than Shinji and Asuka, Kaji-san, NERV, and the world....  
-------------------------------------  
  
"Would you like coconut?"  
Shinji pointed to a can with a drawing of a rather deformed coconut on it. Rei stared at the drawing, then turned to Shinji.  
"Ikari?" She asked quizzically.  
"Yes, Ayanami?"  
Rei pointed to the deformed drawing of a coconut on the can. "What is 'coconut'?"  
  
Well, if someone just happened to have a feather, they could have knocked Shinji over, causing the other rows of groceries behind him to fall on people, causing grotesque, food-involving deaths, with blood splattered all over cans of corn and instant ramen and daikon radish and–okay, I'll stop now. But Shinji was taken aback by Rei's un-knowledge of the coconut. He knew she wasn't normal, knew that she didn't know most emotions that she had, knew that she didn't even know what tears were when she had them–but to not know a coconut?   
  
"You don't know what a coconut is?" Shinji asked, trying to hide his shock.  
Rei shook her head. "No. No one has ever introduced me to such an....edible." She picked up the can and studied it. "What is it exactly?"  
Shinji gulped and luckily found a decent answer that did not say "Well, it's a kind of food. And you can eat it."  
  
"Um...well, it's a tropical fruit that...it's round, and the outside is hard, but if you open it, there's coconut juice and coconut meat inside. It's white," He finished finally with a sudden burst of inspiration. "Yes...it's white."  
Rei nodded and closed her eyes thoughtfully. "I see." Then she picked up the can and examined it once more. "Alright. I will take this...coconut...and see how it tastes." Then she thought for a moment. "But I do not enjoy the taste of meat."  
Shinji mentally slapped himself in the head. Of course, you stupid, stupid, STUPID (repeat 5x) boy, she doesn't know that coconuts have meat.  
  
"No, it's not meat like beef or chicken. It's a...it's a different kind of meat. It's fruit meat!"  
  
Fruit meat?  
  
Rei looked at the can again and then nodded. "Oh. I see. I still wish to taste this 'coconut', then."  
Shinji exhaled and took the can from her. "Okay, I'm done with everything. Let's go pay."  
They stood in line, Rei occasionally looking at things and asking Shinji what they were. Though he was, of course, shocked, he was nonetheless happy to be taking part in Rei's education of...the social world.  
  
Rei, you don't get out much, do you? He asked her inside his head, looking at her while she examined the coconut can once more. Well, I'd be glad to show you everything you don't know...  
  
And as he said this, he became even more confused than he usually was. Every day since he realized it, he thought about her–the one who called him stupid, had no real mother, talked in her sleep, had nightmares almost every single night–but now, as he looked at Rei, he thought–maybe he could start thinking about her–this one, who always had that mysterious aura around her, who had some weird affair with his father, who seemed to not know the simplest thing. It was if he was trying to decide between two cocunts--one of which had an outer shell that was as fiery as hell, but once opened, was soft and delicate, and the other, having a shell that was cold and expressionless, but once opened, was open to learning everything. So now, after his analogy of coconuts, he wanted to know--who was he supposed to go after–the one who he first loved, who he still loved, or the one he was starting to fall in love with, out of his own will....?   
  
He sighed. What a stupid life. No wonder he couldn't understand love.   
  
The line moved fairly quickly, and soon, Rei and Shinji were outside the store on their way home. It was mostly in silence–Shinji cursing himself for being such a hormonal 15-year-old boy, Rei thinking about everything she'd just learned. Finally, the walk ended at the intersection where they had to part.  
  
"Well.....I guess you have to go home now, Ayanami...." Shinji said, rather uncomfortably. "Um...good-bye–"  
  
He was about to turn on his heel and just leave her there, standing helpless and alone (at least in his eyes), when he felt a tug on the back of his shirt. Surprised by this, he turned around, and to his even greater surprise, saw Rei lightly holding onto his shirt, looking very sad and scared (once again, in Shinji's eyes).  
  
"Ayanami....what..."  
  
She looked at the ground, then looked up again. "I do not....I do not wish to stay at my home alone."  
  
Well, Shinji's brain cells melted at approximately that moment.  
  
WHAT IN THE HELL..!? He thought to himself as his eyebrows twisted in an array of designs. What is she saying...!?  
As if reading his mind, Rei continued on. "If it is alright with Major Katsuragi....and....Second Child...." She let go of his shirt and turned to her side, so she was not facing Shinji. "I wish to come to your living space with you."  
  
Once again in the same day, you could have knocked Shinji over with a feather. He could have died on the spot. Melted. Evaporated. Disappeared in some way, as if by a freak Eva accident. (Ahem.) But he still couldn't believe it–and nonetheless understand it. Ayanami Rei was asking to come home with Shinji.   
  
He shook his head slightly so she wouldn't think he was saying no and thought about it some more. Well, Misato would be okay with it, Shinji figured. She always wanted to see how Rei was holding up on her own. And Asuka.....let's just forget about Asuka's reaction. She'd probably sulk, and scream, and yell at me for bringing 'Wondergirl' home without her permission. Shinji sighed.  
  
It's either a matter of making Rei happy or keeping Asuka happy, he thought tiredly. Damn.  
  
Actually, when it all boils down, it's more a matter of keeping me alive.  
  
Finally, he came to a conclusion. He was going to bring Rei home. And Asuka–she always calmed down, might it take a few hours or a few weeks. He loved Asuka, that was true–he'd do anything for her. He'd write her the most beautiful poem and watch her read it and his life ambition would be fulfilled (okay, not really...). But he was slowly but surely falling in love with Rei...and any man who was falling in love would want to make their girl happy.  
  
Shinji intended to do just that.  
  
He straightened up, and Rei turned back to him, a slight look of worry in her eyes. But he ignored that, and smiled.  
"Okay, Ayanami," He said, taking a step towards the apartment building. "Let's go."  
The worry in Rei's eyes disappeared and in its place stood one of slight joy. That almost-smile on her face was back; the expressionless face had put itself away. Shinji so far was the only one, besides Commander Ikari, who could make Rei smile, who could make her act so out of character, who could make her put that expressionless mask aside....  
  
And that, my friends, is what we call making progress.  
------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile, back at les Katsuragi household...  
  
The letters, Asuka made sure, were locked away in one of her safes and stashed in her underwear drawer amidst the many bras and panties, all in a jumble.   
  
Whoever has the NERVE to look in there, Asuka thought nastily, has to answer to the powerful wrath of the Great Sohryu Asuka Langley!! Perverts!! Hentais!! Echhis!! Panty raiders...all of you...BEWARE!  
  
Suddenly, a red aura appeared around Asuka, steam escaped from her nostrils, and she was bigger than the high-rise apartment building.  
  
Fear me, Tokyo-3.  
  
But alas, this is not Alice in Wonderland, nor is it some weird fanfic where Asuka becomes Godzilla. (Though it is a weird fanfic.) This is a story where everyone is normal-sized. If you're looking for abnormally sized Evangelion characters, please look elsewhere.   
  
Asuka stomped out of her room, slammed the door shut, and walked into the living room, where Misato was slumped at the kitchen table, making out with a beer can. (Symbolically, of course.) Asuka made a face and stuck out her tongue in disgust.  
  
"MISATO!!" Asuka screamed, shielding her eyes. "THAT IS JUST GROSS!"  
  
Misato looked up from her hot lovin' and glared at Asuka. "D'ya miiiiind!?" She slurred, obviously drunk.  
  
And with that, she turned back to the frisson between her and her beloved beer.  
Asuka just rolled her eyes and went to the fridge for some more orange juice.   
  
I swear, this household ought to be rated NC-17, she thought to herself as she searched among the beer cans for a decent drink–but couldn't find any.  
  
Then she remembered that Shinji had gone out to buy some. That's right...she closed the refrigerator door and looked outside–it was nearly dark, and the baka wasn't home yet. It usually only took him a usual half hour to go to the store and back, and when he had left, the sun was shining with all its shining-might....so where was he?  
  
The answer to her question was immediately answered as the doorbell rang.  
"Shinji's home!" Asuka said enthusiastically–a little too enthusiastically, for some. Misato looked up and giggled with a slight air of buzz.  
"Asuuuukaaaa's got a lil' lovin' fer Shinnnn-channnn," She said, slapping the table with her hand, the beer can quickly forgotten. "Whass next, Asuka...? Gonna give him a lil' somin' somin'?"  
  
Asuka turned red and turned to Misato. "No way! I'm just thirsty! It's not like that!" She screamed, her finger pointed in defense. "I'm not full of hormones and sex, like you! Always thinking about Kaji in bed! Don't lie! I can hear you at night!"  
However, the recipient of these words had fallen dead-like on the kitchen table, the result of too much beer. Asuka just scowled fiercely at her so-called guardian and turned back to the door. In a single thrust, she reached for the doorknob and flung open the door quite...violently.  
  
"Hey, Baka Shin–"  
  
She stopped dead. For standing next to Shinji, holding another bag of groceries, looking quite sheepish and meek, was that–STUPID–WONDERGIRL!  
  
"Shinji! What the hell is Wondergirl doing here?!" Asuka demanded loudly. She pointed a finger in Rei's direction. "Who the hell said you could come and bring Wondergirl home!? I asked for orange juice, not lifeless dolls!"  
  
Shinji sighed and pushed past Asuka in his ONE act of bravery (okay, there are more, but...). "Asuka....just let it go, okay?"  
  
He walked into the kitchen, leaving a shocked and open-mouthed Asuka behind, and for about the third or fourth time that day, cursed himself for being such a prick. He seemed to have grown something similar to a backbone and ignored Asuka's wrath for once–the second act of bravery performed by Shinji Ikari that day.   
The little Asuka that was in Shinji's head immediately turned on the little Shinji in his head, also known as his conscience, and screamed in a high-pitched voice, "But don't you love me, Baka Shinji!? Don't you care for me!? You write me love letters and call me the goddess of red and tell me I'm just like you. So what the hell are you doing now, baka Shinji!?! Trying to weasel your way out of this and get yourself a little yum-yum from WONDERGIRL!? Geez, Third...how low can you go!?"  
  
Shinji's conscience faltered, powerless and weak, under Asuka, who was know rambling on about him lying to her about everything. He closed his eyes and sighed.  
  
Asuka had finally let Rei in too, as the formerly dead Misato had woken up and somehow snapped out of her drunkness and told Asuka to let Rei in, or else...and now Asuka was standing in the corner, watching Rei out of the corner of her eye, that evil, nasty, pending look in there. He had to admit it to himself and to the little Asuka in his head–he wasn't doing a good job at this whole falling-in-love thing. He loved Asuka. He was falling in love with Rei.  
  
Both out of his own will.  
  
The next groceries that hit the shelves were slammed down, shoved in, or kicked into their proper place. Shinji was mad. Mad at himself for being like this, mad at Asuka for hating Rei and having to exist, mad at Rei because she existed at all, and mad at Misato because–okay, well, he was just plain mad at her for no reason.  
Finally, all the groceries were put away and Rei had finished her coconut juice, saying it was "...very exciting." Shinji had no other choice but to chuckle at this. Who else did he know who would say that coconut juice was 'very exciting'? As he laughed at her words, though, in the corner of his eye he swore he could see a red aura erupt violently into flames.   
  
As would every other person who had seen the wrath of Asuka ignite, Shinji cringed.   
  
BAKA! Asuka thought in her nasty little mind full of impending evil thoughts (at the moment). Stupid doll! Who in the hell does she think she is, barging into my home and invading the only privacy I have in this world. It's not like she knows what privacy is!!! She does everything in front of Commander Ikari! And Shinji! She thought, swinging her head viciously towards Shinji, which made him jump in alarm, as it is not every day that redheads full of venom swing themselves in Shinji's direction. That stupid hentai! Baka! Shinji-sama, the invincible! She growled. Bringing home this bitch! Of course, though. He can't bring home any bacon, so he brings home the bitch. Ha!  
  
She snickered at her little joke, then quickly snapped back into evil composure.   
  
I am NOT leaving my room until this little doll goes home, Asuka thought, standing up. Everyone except Rei turned towards her, expecting a) the worst, b) an attack of fury, or c) hell.  
  
"I am not leaving my room until this doll–" She pointed at Rei, who did not look back. "–Leaves the house!" She snapped at Misato and Shinji. "I refuse to stay in the same room as her!" Then she once again turned onto Shinji. "And you! It's all your fault! I refuse to look at you until this doll goes home! Maybe not even then! Maybe I'll never look at you again!!!"  
  
Apparently, the answer was d) all of the above.  
  
"Didn't you hear me?!" She screamed at everyone, who apparently had no reaction. "What? So are you just choosing to ignore me now?" She scowled ferociously. "Well–fine then!" She screamed, stomping over to the hallway door. "If you like dolls better than energized people, you can all just go to hell!"  
  
And with that, she slammed the door shut so hard that one of the cups on the table fell. Pen-Pen, seemingly at rest in the corner, scuttled over to it and nudged it under the table.  
  
Misato sipped her beer (she was pretending it was tea, so she was drinking it out of a coffee mug) and looked up, a bit tiredly, but still with that natural leader-ish composure. "So, Shinji," She said casually, "When will dinner be ready?"  
  
Shinji stared at Misato like she had just refused beer (in other words, he stared at her in some sort of shock.)  
  
Is that all she can think about? He thought to himself. One of her so-called children nearly broke the hallway door in a burst of anti-Reiness and all she can think about is food? He made a disapproving noise in his head. Well, that's what you'd expect from her in her off-hours. Always thinking about food, beer, se–...and that, he thought, turning a bit red.  
  
"It'll be ready as soon as I can make it, Misato," he said, getting up and walking into the kitchen. It was too bad he couldn't get out of the task by implying that there was nothing decent in the house to make food of, but he had just gone to the grocery store, and the house was chock-full of edible things.  
I guess I have to do it, he grumbled to himself, crashing a pan down on the table much harder than he intended. Damn.  
He sighed at his situation. I guess Asuka was right, maybe I am 'Shinji the invincible,', he scowled, throwing a bag of tomatoes onto the table. I cook, I clean, I scrub, I wash, I....I do everything in this house, don't I?  
  
Well, no, not everything, Shinji. You don't bring home any money.  
  
Just as he was about to smash the bag of onions he was holding against the table, he heard a quiet voice call to him from the living room.  
  
"Ikari."  
  
He looked up towards Misato and Rei. Misato was still sipping her beer as if it were a normal cup of tea and Rei...Rei was looking at him.  
  
Was that Rei?  
  
"Uh...Rei? Was that you?" Shinji asked.  
She nodded. "I...I was wondering...if....it seems that you are having trouble with your cooking. May I be of....assistance?"  
  
Many, many times that day, you could have knocked Shinji over with a feather (I bet all your pillows are empty now, huh?). And this time was not an exception. Feathers, sheets of paper, USB cables, laptop computers, very sharp pencils–just a little poke to the noggin, and Shinji would have been face-flat on the floor.  
  
He shook himself out of his amazement, hoping he hadn't looked too stupid, and replied, as calmly as possible, "Oh...of course, Rei. You can help."  
  
And, much to his enjoyment, the almost-there smile made its appearance again.  
  
The rest of the night was spent teaching Rei how to cook spaghetti. It shouldn't have been hard–not too hard–but to Shinji, it was. He wasn't used to telling people what to do–it was more like he was used to people telling him what to do. It was a bit of a challenge, telling Rei to peel, to crush, to drain....but it got easier overtime, as the two prepared their own dinner.  
  
"That's good," Shinji said to Rei as she crushed the garlic evenly and without that usual slamming sound that Shinji usually made when he crushed garlic. "Nicely done."  
Rei nodded, as if she didn't know Shinji had just paid her a compliment–but that was Rei for you.  
  
It was silent. Too silent, it seemed. Rei was peeling a tomato, and Shinji was mixing the spaghetti in the pot. Misato had since passed out from her "tea", and Asuka seemed to be asleep, as there was no noise coming from the hallway or her room.   
  
Eerie.  
  
They say too much silence can make you go crazy, and Shinji felt this was his case. Imagine yourself, standing in a kitchen, making spaghetti...your guardian is passed out on the living room floor....one of the loves of your life was either sleeping or dead in her room...and the second love of your life was standing next to you, peeling a tomato, not saying a word...throw in the ticking of the clock and your maniacal breathing, and...*shudder*  
  
Yup, it's enough to make you crack.  
  
"Ikari, may I ask you a question?"  
  
Shinji looked up from his mental crack and sighed. Well, there goes my dream of wearing a straightjacket. "Yes, Rei?"  
"Do you...do you recall when I had inquired to you about 'love'?" She asked, a bit timidly, Shinji had to add.  
"Yes," He replied. "Why?"  
"Well...." Now she was slicing the tomato, carefully but expertly, the knife cutting solidly through a thick layer of fruit. "It seems to me that the Second Child...she is in love with you?"  
  
I won't even bring up the feather thing again, so let's just say that Shinji nearly collapsed--no, did collapse--onto the counter before him. He wanted to scream, to laugh, to cry--to scream "HOW DO YOU KNOW!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!" at Rei, to laugh in absurd disbelief, and to cry because it wasn't true and God, how he wanted it to be...  
  
Instead, he fell forward onto the counter.  
  
Rei, however (but not surprisingly) did not freak out, like most people would (except Asuka, she'd start laughing). She leaned down, and said monotonously, "Ikari? Are you alright? Have I said something that was perhaps, wrong?"  
  
WRONG!?! Shinji wanted to yell. Wrong? No, of course not, Rei. Not wrong. You said something that was completely absurd, incorrect, asinine, stupid, and unreal. The day when Asuka loves me is the day that I finally figure out my stupid Eva, it will be the day when I understand myself, it will be the day when I can see my mother again, it will be the day I choose whom I--  
  
He stopped there. It wasn't Rei's fault, after all, Shinji reasoned with himself--she was just making an inference. A wrong one, but it was an inference.   
  
He straightened himself up and smiled at Rei, who actually did have a tint of worry twisted into her eyebrows. He dusted himself off and then looked up at Rei again.  
"Well, Rei, I guess you could say you were wrong," He said. "Where'd you get the idea that Asuka would--" he swallowed deeply, as if to reassure him it wasn't true--"l-er...love me...?"  
  
"It seems that she wants to be alone with you, for when I visit you, she does not appreciate my presence and asks me very inpolitely to leave. Does this not seem to you that she wants to be alone with you? She also looks at us strangely when we are in each other's company; it as if she is...jealous of it."  
  
Now, to Rei, this all seemed very logical. To Misato, it might have seemed logical. To me it seems very logical. But Shinji-man knew better. He knew how Asuka's very smart and very rude brain thought. He knew that German girl, how she thought and acted.   
  
Oh, he knew. He knew that Rei was ABSOLUTELY WRONG.  
  
"Well, Rei..." Shinji replied, a bit hesitantly. "I can assure you that you're wrong. In fact, I know you are. Asuka doesn't love me, Rei, she doesn't even like me. To her, I'm just the scum under the sewers, just a speck, a water flea that she was to live and work with. That's all. She doesn't like me, no matter how logical the reasons may seem.....alright?" He looked at her gently.  
  
But he didn't get that confused type of reaction that he had so blatantly expected. Instead, Rei gave him a look of.....relief!? Shinji's eyes bulged. Was that relief!? Was Rei Ayanami showing relief at the fact that Asuka didn't like him? Or did she just have a twitch in her eye that made her look that way!? Was Shinji happy to see it!? What if Asuka found out!? A million questions bounced around in his head.   
  
"Well," Shinji said quickly, to put an end to that awkward moment. "The spaghetti is almost done, I bet Misato will wake up if I kick her in the stomach or something....here, give me that tomato."  
  
As Shinji reached for the tomato, he took a quick glance up to Rei's face--and sighed.  
  
  
Expressionless.  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
  
Shinji had thought that Asuka was asleep in her room, but he was wrong as usual. Sure, she was silent--seething angry waves of mad at Wondergirl and Shinji, but silently.  
She stared at the ceiling, her blue eyes frozen over, her mouth a firm, straight line. Her thoughts were not intended for the young, as they contained many vulgar phrases and was profanity-ridden, but since the author doesn't care about your pure mind, she will put them here.  
  
Damn Wondergirl, Asuka's inner mind screeched. What the hell does she think she's doing!? Stomping into MY house without MY permission. I thought she was a bitch before but now I KNOW she's a bitch. Fucking doll! Fucking Shinji! Fucking...fucking life....  
  
She scowled fiercely at the ceiling above her, which shrank back in fear. Her whole body was tense, her mouth was stuck in that scowl, her hair seemed not only to be the color of fire, but on fire. It was strange, though, Asuka thought--she would never react this violently to Wondergirl before. Sure, violently, but not like this. It wasn't normal that she would retire to her room and then think about her and Shinji, Shinji and her, Wondergirl and Shinji-sama-the-Invincible. So why, now, would she do it?  
  
Her head was hurting and she didn't feel like pondering the situation any more, no matter how strange.   
  
No, the Great Sohryu Asuka Langley isn't giving up, she thought to herself. She's just...giving the problem some...some space.  
  
Sighing, she flipped around on her stomach, closed her eyes, and calmed her jumpier-than-usual nerves--by thinking about her masked man, her writer anonymous, her dot, her potential soulmate, her lover.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
  
Shinji had managed to awaken his female gaurdian, who snapped up in frenzy and started shouting, "BUT WHERE'S THE BOOZE!?" When she saw the just-finished spaghetti, though, she ran over to the pot and grabbed a fork.  
  
"This is why I love you, dear Shin-chan," She said as she dived in, not even bothering to put her portion on a plate. The fork dived into the spaghetti viciously and came up with a heaping amount of noodles. "Because you make such good food for meeeeeeeee...."   
  
And the fork was shoved into Misato's mouth.  
  
Shinji winced at the sight of a grown woman devouring spaghetti like she hadn't eaten in fifty-seven years. Now that's scary, he thought, turning around--and found himself face to face with Rei.  
He smiled. He couldn't believe that he had just spent the last 2 or 3 hours practically alone with Rei Ayanami. Of course, he'd spent way longer times with her--but those were only "work" times, they hardly had time to do anything else but follow Ritsuko-san's orders. But in the last 3 hours, Shinji had seen Rei smile, he had seen Rei been worried (at least he thought that was worry), and he had even taught her how to cook. And even though it was late, she was still here--in his house.  
  
Wow, he gushed.  
  
"When will I be leaving your home?" Rei said in her flat monotone. "It is already the hour of ten-fifty-two."  
"Uhh, well, ummm..." Shinji turned towards Misato, who was still eating like a cannibal. "I...don't know...it all depends on Misato."  
Misato then looked up from her ravenous chore and swallowed half a ton of spaghetti. "I don't know, Shin. I'm very tired." With that, she shoved another half ton of spaghetti into her waiting mouth. "And hungry." Perhaps it was a quarter ton. "So maybe just once, Rei could sleepover." Oh--now it was a ton.  
  
  
Shinji almost hyperventilated. Wh-WHAT!?! He thought, clutching at his heart. (No use of the feather thing for now.) "Mi-Misato!! You-you can't be serious!" Think of the havoc this will cause Asuka!!! He thought, envisioning a scene where Asuka, emerging from her room with a skin-tight red suit, horns, a spiked tail, and a spear, came to stab Rei. He shook his head. Think of my havoc!!! Having the two people I love in the SAME HOUSEHOLD!!!! NOT EVEN TWO METERS AWAY!!!! How could this be!?  
  
"What's wrong, Shin?" Misato said, scraping up what was left of the spaghetti. "You don't want Rei to stay?"  
  
At this, Shinji faltered. He turned towards Rei, who had an eyebrow raised, as if to say, "Yes, Ikari, you do not want me in your presence?" He envisioned that devil-Asuka sight again, except this time the spear was going through his heart. Then he turned back to Misato.  
  
"No, Misato. It's fine."  
  
"Great!" Misato said cheerily, putting the pot down on the floor, at which Pen-Pen scuttled over to. "Is that fine with you, Rei?"  
  
Rei nodded slowly, her eyes closed. "If you cannot accompany me to my own home, then I will be your guest as of tonight."  
  
"That's settled then! You can sleep on the couch. Shinji, go to the closet and get a sheet and a pillow."  
Shinji walked over to the closet, randomly picked out a pillow and a sheet, and walked mechanically back to the living room and handed them to Misato.  
  
"Oh, silly boy," Misato said, picking up the pot and turning it upside down. (Pen-Pen had fallen in it, trying to snatch up a tomato.) "Don't give it to me, give it to Rei."  
Shinji turned around to see Rei already walking towards him. She stopped, then held out her arms. Without a word Shinji placed the neatly folded towel over the pillow and plunked them gently onto her hands.  
  
"Goodnight, Pen-Pen," Misato cooed to the penguin as it continued to wipe spaghetti sauce off its fur.  
  
Yeah, yeah, see you later, babe...I mean...Misato-chan, Pen-Pen thought irritatedly.  
  
"Goodnight, Shin-chan," Misato said to Shinji as she walked lazily with five six-packs of beer cradled in her arms. "Goodnight, Rei."  
Shinji nodded a reply to his gaurdian, who lazed off to her room, her sweet sweet babymuffins in her arms. Then he looked at Rei.  
  
"Goodnight, Rei--" He said, then stopped.  
  
He had just noticed something. When he first met her, and from then on, the only thing he had called the girl was by her last name--Ayanami, which was formal to the Japanese custom. But later on--once she had been in his house, cooked dinner with him, talked to him like a normal person--he started to call her Rei, which by Japanese custom was casual, and often meant that you were comfortable with this person. Shinji's mind flared. Am I so comfortable with Ayanami--I mean, Rei--that I could call her by her first name, finally? He thought quizically. I've been calling Asuka Asuka from the beggining, but that was only because, well, she wasn't really Japanese. But I called Rei by her last name at first because I was kind of....scared of her. And I still kind of am. But...now that I can call her Rei...what does this mean?   
  
It wasn't really a big deal. But in Japanese custom it is. A person who is called by their last name is formal. A person who is called by their first name and then "-chan" or "-san" just indicates normal casual respect. But if you call somebody by their first name, without the suffix "chan" or "san" at the end, that indicated a very high casual respect for that person, or a very high level of comfort. (And that, my friends, was your Japanese lesson of the day.)  
  
Really, when you think about it, it could change a lot.  
  
"Goodnight, Aya--...Rei," He said finally.  
  
Through her red window glass eyes, Rei looked at Shinji. She didn't just look at the stupid wimp--I mean--the boy standing in front of her, but she looked at the person inside Shinji--the one that didn't call her by her last name anymore, the one that could understand her, the one who talked to Rei like she was a....a normal person.  
  
After a slight pause, Rei slightly smiled.  
  
"Goodnight, Shinji."  
  
With that, she turned around to the couch with her pillow and sheet, leaving Shinji behind, even more confused--but also happier--than usual.  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
  
A can fell to the ground, making a soft clunk on the ground. Thick snores began. A lustful murmuring began along with the snoring. The bed creaked.  
  
Shinji sighed.  
  
It's midnight.  
  
Every single midnight in the Katsuragi household, if Misato was off, didn't have company over, wasn't having a party, and the like, then every single midnight, a beer can would fall to the ground. Snoring would start. And then a slightly disturbing murmur would begin. After a few minutes, the bed would creak.  
  
The boy needed no clock, for he had a woman to tell him the time.  
  
Even though he had to go to school the next day, and even though he was tired, and confused, and overall just sleep deprived, Shinji was still awake. His arms behind his head, he stared at the ceiling. No, he wasn't even thinking. He was just....staring.  
  
Trying to shoo all his problems away.  
  
He sighed. Why can't I switch lives with someone who has an easy life? Indeed, Shinji, why can you not? I mean, take Kensuke for example. All he does is be a nerd. And moan about computers. And Evas. And electronics. And technology.   
  
..............  
  
Well, maybe not Kensuke.  
  
How about Touji? He thought then. Touji's strong. And quite....stupid. And he likes Hikari, who I have to admit is a little cute. And he's....a jock. And...stupid.   
  
Well, maybe not Touji either.  
  
He narrowed his eyes. This isn't working.  
  
He tried to think of other people, just for the fun of it. Misato? Nah. Kaji? Nah. Hikari? No. That guy in his class who always had a runny nose? Um....no.  
However, his thoughts were interrupted by a whimper. And then a louder wimper. And then a sob.  
  
The adrenaline rose in his body, and he winced slightly. Asuka.  
Without thinking, he rose into the cold darkness of the early morn and tip-toed over to Asuka's room. As he approached, the sobbing and whimpering grew louder. It was then that he noticed his chest was hurting. He cringed.   
  
It's not my pain, it's hers, he pleaded. Leave me be, I'm only here to comfort her!  
  
But his heart knew better. And as he quietly slid open the door, his heart tightened even more.  
  
There she was. Huddled in a ball. Her face covered with her hands. Cold. Clammy. Confused. Crying.  
  
"Nein..." She sobbed, shivering violently. "der Aufenthalt! Halt den Mund! Ich kann ihn nicht leiden...*"  
(*No....stop! Shut up! I can't stand him...)  
  
She sobbed loudly and cradled herself. As Shinji approached the bed, he could feel himself sweating with nervousness.  
  
"Asuka," He said quietly, reaching out for a lock of her limp red hair. "Asuka--"  
"der Aufenthalt!!" She screamed, slapping his hand away. "No...no..."  
  
Shinji knew that he could do nothing if all he did was sit there and watch Asuka push him away. So, slowly, trying to push down his increasing adrenaline rate, he reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes.  
  
She winced, and Shinji immediately regretted doing it. But she had stopped sobbing. She was still shivering, and whimpering, and rubbing her shoulders, but she had stopped sobbing.  
  
That was good.  
  
With soaked eyes she looked up at Shinji and sniffed. He looked back, just staring, not knowing what to do. Why was he so restrained!? He cursed himself. Why couldn't he just reach out and take her in his arms!? He could have, if it wasn't for....you-know-who. Shinji's shoulders slumped. Oh, how he wanted to make Asuka better. How he wanted to just reach out and stroke her hair. Hug her. Do anything...anything to reassure her...that it would be okay.  
  
Suddenly, she spoke. Her lips moved only a little, and her voice cracked. But she spoke.  
  
"I'm....scared..."  
  
Shinji just looked deep into her blue eyes, and knew, that as long as he lived, he would never see such a blueness as hers. Clear. Deep. Sometimes icy. But right now, they just looked like pools--wet, blue, alone. And he wanted to dive into them. To understand its waters. To calm the waters. To reassure the waters that they were not alone, that other oceans and seas and lakes and pools and ponds were just like them. And maybe what she had said was just a little one-time thing, a side note to her nightmares and dreams and tears, but it didn't matter, because Shinji wanted to know.  
  
"I am too," He whispered.  
  
  
And he dived right in.   
  
----------------------------------  
  
'Stop  
Shut up  
I can't stand him...'  
  
i want to tell you a thousand things  
maybe a thousand more  
to your face  
words you say  
but don't mean  
i'm so confused  
are you?  
you said you were scared  
i said i was too  
but the thing i'm most scared of  
is actually you  
i think i love you  
i might love her  
or yes  
to both.  
  
-------------------------------------  
  
End Note: The poem at the end didn't mean anything, perhaps it was just there because I needed to spice up the ending a bit. For those of you who have gotten this far, then I will assure you, the sap-filled ending part was there because I sensed a lot of Rei x Shinji action going on, and even I am not a big Rei x Shinji fan, so I included the last bit to reassure you that this fic is not going into any particular direction.   
  
Love,  
xoxo  
  
ladyxkodomo  
  
(3/19/04)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. The Third and First Letters

A/N: Wow, I've gone and made Hikari-chan all OOC in this chapter. But really, I do like this side of her better. All outspoken. XD Anyway, here is the 5th chapter!!!!! I'm trying not to say much here because I know there are those diligent and LOYAL people who actually _read _the a/n _before _they read the chapter. OKAY!? So, if you want endless rambling/updates/notes, check the end notes!!! Ok? XD  
Disclaimer: UNFORTUNATELY, I do _not _own Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shin Seiki Evangelion, OR the idea of love letters, OR the invention of shoe lockers, OR the invention of fanfiction. I do, however, own an imagination. XD So there's that.  
And as always, thanks to my lurrvaly pre-readers: Danny-without-all-the-numbers. And FinalMax--but FinalMax, you didn't reply to my e-mail. I gave you two days, and no reply...sorry! Danny found everything alright except for a few typos, if you had anything to say, tell me, and I'll change it.

Things you should know before reading:  
xoxoxoxoxoxo--the 'moment' separator. Because the staff at fanfiction-dot-net is mean and won't let me do the dashes, that'll have to do.  
_italics--_thoughts. But y'all should have known that by now.  
  
To Asuka  
Chapter 5  
  
Everything was dark.  
  
There was a scent of laundry detergent in the air along with the faint smell of sweat and LCL. Shampoo-smelling hair was tossed around in his neck; his palms felt clammy and his chest felt heavy. An eye cracked open, but it was still dark.  
  
He frowned.  
  
_Where am I?_ He wondered to himself. He looked at the walls around him. They were unfamiliar.  
  
Then, as his sights settled down on a lock of red hair floating on his arm, he knew.  
  
He jerked back. _What the hell!?_ He thought to himself. He sat up, his mind drowsy from sleep, his eyes forcing themselves back down to close. His brain was still in sleep mode; he couldn't think properly; the world was fuzz to him.  
  
Then a small whimper brought his eyes back down to the sleeping figure beside him.  
  
There lay a 14-year-old girl, sleeping silently, her cheeks cold and sticky from earlier tears. She was clutching the blanket and her other arm was stretched out onto his space. Her head had rolled onto the bed where his chest used to be; she had been using it as a pillow. Red hair was tangled and matted over the sheets and the pillows.  
  
Shinji smiled at the girl. She didn't seem to be having any more trouble. She was sleeping peacefully and was hopefully dreaming dreams that weren't disturbing. As quietly as he could, he slipped off the bed into the wee hours of the early morning. The bed gave the slightest creak but the girl did not wake. She didn't even move.  
  
He exhaled a sigh of relief and quietly tip-toed back into his own room.

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
The walk to Shinji's room was short but the minutes he stayed awake were long and uneasy. Every little creak he heard, he thought was Asuka stirring herself into a nightmare again. He kept his ears on high alert and his head high off the pillow, causing a painful crick in his neck.  
  
Finally, he convinced himself that Asuka was going to be just fine and the sound of Pen-Pen slamming a can of beer against his fridge wall did not mean Asuka was going to start sobbing uncontrollably again. But he knew that even with the most thorough reassuring, he could still not sleep.  
  
The anticipation and anxiety was just too much. Besides, Misato had started her phase of....unusual noises....and it was just too disturbing and loud for Shinji to get any kind of rest at all. His eyelids drooped, but no fatigue claimed him. Stretching across his bed like a cat, he yawned, and in the process caught sight of his open notebook on the bedside table.  
  
Shinji stopped, mid-cat-stretch. He stared, unblinking, at the notebook. His cloudy mind was trying to tell him something, but it felt as if he was drunk on tears and the early morning fuzz. But he knew that a notebook, Asuka, and being alone meant something to him....  
  
The fountain pen on the floor awoke him. A quiet smile stretched across his face. He slumped out of his stretch and bent down to pick up the heavy, silver pen. Soon the notebook was on his lap and he was sitting cross- legged on the bed, the sheets tangled over his legs and off the bed and the night humidity hung in the air limply.  
  
The heavy silver nib touched the paper and Shinji's hand started to scrawl.  
  
What exactly his hand was willing him to write Shinji did not know, all he did know was that the result would be no less than satisfying.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
She twitched. Her eye cracked open, revealing a dark room. She opened her eyes all the way even though it hurt. Squinting, she realized she was not in her own home.  
  
_Where...am I?_  
  
She turned her head sideways and saw a tv and another sofa across from her. She struggled to sit up, and when she did she saw herself staring at a penguin drinking a can of Yebisu beer.  
  
Then she remembered.  
  
_Where else will I find a penguin drinking a can of alcohol?_ She thought to herself, grimacing slightly at the vision of Pen-Pen having a hangover. Well, no where else but Major Katsuragi's house.

She lowered herself back down on the couch, only to find that it was not as comfortable as she had found it earlier. The foam was too firm, and too bouncy, and the blanket seemed thinner than ever. She sighed.  
  
_Maybe if I arise and walk around some I will get sleepy again,_ she thought to herself. _I no longer wish to go to bed. I wonder what awoke me.  
_  
She listened carefully, only to hear the constant hum of the refrigerator and the slurp of Pen-Pen sucking on his beer. But if one listened even more carefully, they could hear the faint _scritch-scritch_ of a pen nib being scratched across paper.  
  
Her ears twitched slightly. She got up and slid off the couch, feeling the stubbly carpet underneath her. The night air enveloped her and she shivered slightly, even in the humid temperature. She held the table for support and stood up.  
_I will follow the noise,_ she thought, almost as one would think when following their prey in the dark. _And see who is making it._  
  
Slowly she dragged her feet across the cold linoleum floor and then through the carpet in the hallway. In the middle of the hall, she listened to each room. Where was that sound coming from? There was no hole big enough under the sliding doors to give any impression of light, and all of the doors were closed. She stepped up to the first sliding door.  
  
As soon as she heard the word "Kaji" mixed with a few...._naughty _expletives, she immediately backed away from the door and bumped squarely into the next one. She gently pressed her ear against the door.  
  
Nothing.  
  
_The only person that sleeps like that,_ she thought to herself, tapping her chin, _is Sohryu. She will sleep through anything.  
_  
So that meant that the last room...  
  
She moved in front of the sliding door and immediately heard the scritch of the pen. She congratulated herself silently for finding the source of the noise, then, without a knock or a warning, she slid it open.  
  
Shinji jumped as he heard his door open. _Asuka,_ was the first thing he thought as he slowly turned his head around, but instead of a redhead with puffy tear-stained eyes staring back at him was a blue-headed girl with squinting red eyes, looking at his paper.  
  
He resisted the urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake her violently while yelling, "WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE NOW!?" His creative instincts had been shattered. But instead, he cracked a smile.  
  
"Rei," He said. "I thought you were sleeping."  
  
"You should be sleeping as well," Rei said, avoiding his question. "It is approximately..." She stole a glance at his clock. "1:53 AM. Is this not the time when most people in the Tokyo-3 area are asleep in bed?"  
  
Shinji winced. "Ah...yes," He said. "But...I had...stuff," He said in what fanfiction writers like to call an "inspirational rush", quotation marks always included. "Stuff."  
  
Rei raised an eyebrow. "Stuh....stuff?"

He nodded vigorously. "Stuff."

How could he tell her that he had gone to Asuka's room at the sound of her sobbing to comfort her? The day and night before had been enough, he knew, enough for both of them. Why should he trouble her even further? It was almost two in the morning. Not a good time for drama. So....  
  
....Shinji decided that the answer to all his problems, worries, woes, and fears was 'stuff'.  
  
"Ok, I couldn't sleep," He finally said, knowing that the answer 'stuff' was pathetic beyond belief. "It's insomnia."

"Insomnia is where you cannot sleep?" Rei said, more to herself than to Shinji. "Oh. Then I have insomnia as well. But I was awoken, apparently by the sound of your pen on paper." She pointed subtly to the pen and paper, both of which Shinji was trying to hide.  
  
Shinji blushed. He glanced down at the notebook, which was by now scribbled over with poetry. "Oh....I'm sorry, Rei...I didn't know I was that loud."  
  
She shook her head. "Do not worry. But please explain to me what you are writing and why you would be writing it at--" Another quick glance to the clock. "Two AM in the morning?"  
Shinji said many, many inappropriate things in his head. _Damn!! Why does Rei have to be so curious?  
_  
Then, accompanying the Little Asuka in his head (back up to chapter 3) came a Little Rei. _What do you mean, why does Rei have to be so curious? That does sound insulting. Is that an insult? I have heard of insults...those are what Second likes to call me, is that not right, Ikari? I am not pleased with your answer. You have also said 'Damn'. Major Katsuragi says that too when she is angry. Are you angry, Ikari? What have I done? All I am asking is, "what are you doing". It is a simple question, is that not so? Well, Ikari? Well, Ikari? Well?  
_  
Ouch.  
  
Shinji slammed his head with his palm, trying to get rid of Little Rei screaming (and now Little Asuka is coming over to have a little fight with Little Rei! Oh-ho-ho! Well, this might be violent, ladies and gentlemen, we better--oh my, that was explicit...), but he was too slow, and soon he found Rei glancing over his shoulder.  
  
He quickly moved his arm to try and cover it up more but he could feel her tense up in the slightest bit. _Oh no,_ he groaned inwardly. _I hope she doesn't know who it's to..._

"Are you writing some sort of letter, Ikari-kun?" Rei asked, cocking her head sideways. "May I ask who it is addressed to, or would you wish not to give me this information?"  
  
Shinji blushed. No, he didn't blush, he burned. turning a color that well rivaled Unit 02 and Asuka's plugsuit. "Er, well....it's..."  
  
What could he say? No way in HELL would he tell Rei it was to Asuka. He could feel sweat rolling off his forehead and the paper underneath his hands growing damp with the clammy feel of his hands. He stuttered, trying to find the right words. What could he say?  
  
_Oh, it's nothing.  
  
Well, it's not to you.  
  
UMMM, I HAVE TO GO....TO...THE....POTTY!!!_  
  
(From this information we have gathered that Shinji needed Girl Lessons, or perhaps maybe some kind of pill, bad.)  
  
Then he remembered something he had seen on television when Asuka had banged him over the head with a plate and told him to change the damn channel already, this crap is boring the hell out of me. It was one of those weird soap operas where the average cast member had seventy-two affairs and twenty-eight secrets, sixteen of which were getting them into trouble. Shinji, while trying to ignore the pain in his head caused by a plate making unecessary contact with it, stared at the screen and read the subtitles at the bottom:  
  
_You're special....you're special...you're special._  
  
Nobody should ever really take advice from a soap opera, because you will eventually get killed by your husband's-ex-wife's-boyfriend's-sister's- jealous friend's-associate's-lawyer's-agent, but in this crisis of Shinji's it was all he really needed.  
  
"This is to...a...a special person," He managed to say with a straight face. "Someone very special to me."  
  
A defeaning silence followed, in which Rei would very much like to have screamed. She knew that Shinji knew that Rei was not very...experienced in the field of feelings. How could she know what special was!? Sure, she knew the meaning of it: exceeding common or usual. So this _person_ Shinji was writing to was exceeding the limits of being common, or usual. But Rei knew thousands of people who weren't common; weren't unusual. Misato, for instance. Common people did not drink 10 cans of beer for breakfast. The Second Child as well. Who could act so deranged, so strange, so harsh, and not be common?  
  
Then Rei stopped. _Second!_ Her nonexistent temper flared. _He is writing to Second. He must be. Who else would Ikari be writing a letter to? He is writing to her once more, just like in the past, on the school roof._ She frowned slightly.  
  
"Ikari-kun, could you inform me of something?" She asked, a hint of bitterness in her voice, but so little that Shinji did not notice at all.  
  
Shinji looked up, praying Rei would not suspect it was to Asuka. "Of course," He said, trying to keep his voice straight.  
  
"Would you tell me...am I..." Rei straightened herself up. "Am I special?"

Shinji would have liked to strangle himself rather than answer, but he chose the latter, as well as choosing his words carefully.  
  
"Of...of course you're special, Rei. Yes, of course you are."  
  
This sort of answer seemed to have kept Rei happy. Her eyes lit up but her mouth did not smile. Instead she nodded and backed out towards the door.  
  
"Thank you....Ikari-kun," She said slowly, then stepped out and slung the door back into place behind her.  
  
The moment the quiet _shlip_ of the door ended, Shinji began to mentally panic. Did he do the right thing!? Was Rei mad at him!? She didn't seem angry. But she never is angry. Oh my God. What if Asuka finds out? Oh my God. I thought Rei seemed disappointed. But she _is _special. Now what? Oh God.  
  
Panicked, grief-stricken and tired, Shinji struggled to finish the last lines of his letter, then threw it on the floor and without bothering to shut off the light, fell asleep. His dreams would consist of Little Reis and Little Asukas and Little Shinjis being taken to Little Therapists, but, he did not know that, and instead closed his eyes to hopeful dreams of letters, Asuka, and Reis.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
The next morning nobody seemed to remember anything that had happened the night before. Asuka woke up snarling and with circles underneath her eyes, Rei woke up on the couch and changed into a spare uniform of Asuka's (without her knowledge, Misato had taken one from the dryer and given it to Rei. "She won't mind, don't worry about it," Rei had been told, but she was still suspicious.) And Shinji woke up a bit restless and a bit tired, haunted by the night before, still wondering if his answer was acceptable.  
  
"Hey, Baka Shinji," Asuka screamed from the hallway. "You better hurry up, I don't wanna be late to school and now we have Wondergirl in tow with us. Get your ass moving." She stomped into the kitchen and ignored Rei who was sitting at the counter eating a bowl of rice.  
  
Rei did not look up. "Good morning, Second Child."

"Whatever."  
  
Rei smiled secretly under her chopsticks. Last night had given her all she wanted to know. _Ikari-kun said he was writing to a special person,_ she thought with the slightest hint of glee. _And he told me that I am special. Does this not mean that I could be a potential letter-receiver as well?_ She picked up her tea mug with ease and joyfulness; what if she was right? She started to hum, very quietly, under her breath, but Asuka, being not usual or common as labeled by Rei, heard her quite well.

Asuka stared at Rei with a look of horror on her face. _No way in the hell is First humming,_ Asuka thought. _Humming! Only happy people hum. Wondergirl is not happy. Wondergirl is incapable of being happy. Wondergirl could be a ceramic figure standing in the middle of an art gallery,_ and no one would notice. _Dammit, why the hell is she acting like this!?_  
  
The loss of First information dominating Asuka was killing her. She growled. She sauntered over to the place opposite Rei on the counter. She stared.  
  
Rei ate her rice.  
  
Just when Asuka was about to start Angry Girl Fit #89,546,230, Shinji ambled into the kitchen rubbing his eyes and yawning, his shirt half-tucked into his pants, his hair uncombed, his stride lopsided and dragging.  
  
"Good morning, Shinji!" Misato said gleefully, not drunk at all. She was stirring a mug of beer with a teaspoon. "Oh, and good morning, Asuka! Good morning to you as well, Rei! Now, if you don't hurry up, kidlets," Misato said matter-of-factly, "You're going to be late for school!"  
  
Asuka and Shinji stared.  
  
While they stared at the elderly mad, Rei got up, put her rice bowl in the sink, finished her tea and picked up her bag. "It is best if we leave now," She called from the foyer.  
  
Misato grinned insanely as Asuka and Shinji walked towards the door. "Have a good day at school, Asuka-chan, Shinji-kun, Rei-chan! Be safe!"  
  
"Oh God, let's make a run for it," Asuka mumbled.  
  
They all struggled to get out of the door at the same time, finally coming to the fact that they wouldn't all be able to squeeze through. Rei went first, followed by a growling Asuka, followed by a yawning Shinji.  
  
As soon as the door clicked shut, Misato sighed.  
  
"God, you have no idea how hard it is to be a good influence to children," She said to Pen-Pen, who was watching tv. "But Ritsu says I need to be a better example for Asuka and Shinji. 'We don't need to worry about Rei'", Misato said, mocking Ritsuko. She frowned. "But really. I love those kids....er...I mean, I don't want to feel like I failed at my first chance of kind-of motherhood."  
  
Pen-Pen nodded, somewhat understandingly.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The walk to school was uneventful, with the usual Asuka yelling at stop lights. No, really. When you've walked with Asuka for awhile, you get used to her yelling at inanimate objects as well as random animate objects, so it becomes usual.  
  
"STUPID STOP LIGHTS!!" She screamed. "WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THE TRAFFIC!? I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!!!! TURN GREEN!!! TURN GREEN, DAMNIT!!!!!!!! DID YOU HEAR ME!? SOHRYU ASUKA LANGLEY JUST ASKED YOU TO TURN GREEN!!! WHY ARE YOU STILL RED!?"

A few cars passing by the sidewalk honked their horns at Asuka, some telling her to mind her manners or to just shut up. Asuka, irritated that her wish was not being granted, thrust up her middle finger in an equivalent of saying, "Yeah, well you can just shove it up my ass," meanwhile shocking a couple of old kimono-clad women making their way across the opposite sidewalk.  
  
Shinji resisted the urge to shut his eyes and go to sleep while standing at the intersection. He yawned and clamped down just as a fly whizzed by his mouth.  
  
Finally, the light turned green and he managed to drag himself across the crosswalk. The school was less than a quarter mile away. _Good,_ he thought. _I just wanna get to my desk...and just....sleep.....  
_  
He yawned again, this time feeling something in his jaw crack.  
  
While Asuka was sending off waves of radiation and Shinji was trying to fight the urge to hide himself in the bushes and just conk out, Rei was hoping, very subtly, that she would receive a letter, a piece of paper, with her name on it, in her shoe locker.  
_Do not get--what is it that everyone says...? Ah...do not get your hopes up, she told herself. It might not have been intended for you..._  
  
But a part of her refused to think that.  
  
_We're almost there.... _Shinji thought hazily, looking at the school building looming in front of him, grinning stupidly. _Just...a...little...further...  
_  
And yet, as his foot touched the first step into school, as sleep was beckoning him with a fluffy finger, he heard a female voice ring out in a curious and agitated way.  
  
"Hikari!"  
  
_NO!!!_ Shinji thought, turning to Asuka, who had turned to Hikari, waiting on the sidewalk in front of the school. _You b...._ He gritted his teeth. _DON'T TALK TO HER!!!!_ He panicked. _WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? DON'T TALK!!!! I'M_ SLEEPY!!!!  
  
But Asuka had already skipped over to her best friend and began to chat in that quipping way that girls talk, leaving Shinji stranded on the school stairs, mouth open, eyes twitching.  
"Hikari! What are you doing here? It's 10 minutes until school starts! You, of all people...out here...not in class?"Asuka fluttered her hand to her collarbone. "This is such a shock! Tell me you're not Hikari Horaki, class representative, expert nagger!"  
  
Hikari frowned. "Oh, really, Asuka. You don't have to be like that. It is me, Hikari Horaki, class representative, and I am not an expert nagger. I'm just out here, uh....I'm just...waiting for someone...that's all," She said, looking away and blushing a little.  
  
Asuka's mouth dropped open. "WHAT!? No...no way! Hikari! Don't tell me...."  
  
Shinji mumbled some profanity and started to walk toward the entrance, dragging his feet along the sidewalk, his bag hanging limply at his side, mumbling about the 'stupid female psyche'. Rei saw him walk away and walked faster to catch up with him, disguising her unusually longer strides as best she could. Luckily, Asuka nor Hikari noticed her and Shinji together, walking side by side into the school building.  
  
Asuka was too busy putting two and two together, anyway, which was taking a longer time than it would the average person. (Should we offer her a calculator?)  
  
"You!?" She sputtered. She took both of her index fingers and linked them together. "You and.....woah...Hikari, don't tell me....no way! That can't be!" Her blue eyes opened wide, showing for a split second the innocent, curious kitten side of Asuka Langley Sohryu.  
  
"Asuka," Hikari said, annoyed, "How can I tell you what I'm doing here if you keep on acting like that!? All stupid and stuttery," She frowned, tapping her foot impatiently.  
  
Breathing deeply, Asuka settled down. "Ok. I'm fine. Now tell me what the hell you are doing out here, IGNORING your class rep duties? Such a bad thing to do, young lady," She said, shaking her index finger.  
  
"Well, if you must know," Hikari said, clasping her hands together over her heart and nearly swooning, "I am waiting for..."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
A masculine and accented voice rang out across the street in front of the school. Hikari stopped short in her sentence and immediately turned around and waved, blushing, grinning like a lovesick idiot.  
  
Finally, Asuka realized that two and two was four; and her jaw dropped.  
  
"T-T-TOUJI!? She managed to spit out, clutching her throat. "YOU WERE WAITING FOR THIS...DORK!?"  
  
"He is not a dork," Hikari snapped defensively. "And yes, I was waiting for him."

There was a stunned silence, then a gush of words.

"Please, Hikari," Asuka pleaded, her hands clasped together, pleading for a miracle. "Please, please, please tell me you were waiting for Touji because his grades are horrible and sensei asked you to tell him because you'd be softer on the guy than sensei?! Please tell me that's why you were waiting for him!?"  
  
"Yo, Asuka, what are you doin' here?" Touji asked , approaching the two girls. "I thought you'd be with Shinji, you know, in class. It's already five till eight."  
  
Asuka glared. "I know it's late, you lard head, and I'm just out here wondering why Hikari, of all possible people to be tardy, is out here and not in the classroom like you assumed I was," She snapped.  
  
"Woah, don't need to be so catty. And what did you call me? A lard head?" He frowned, mumbling something that sounded like 'stupid foreigner' under his breath, then turned to Hikari and smiled. "Hey. So you risked your class rep duties for me, eh? Now that makes me feel special."  
  
Hikari smiled back, a tender (Asuka nearly hurled) look in her eye. "It should. But I don't think sensei would approve of you late, huh?" They began to walk into the school building, side by side, Asuka dangling at the end of the rope, mouth still open.  
"Me?" Touji asked as he draped his arm around her shoulder casually. "Me, I'm used to it. But what about you?"  
"_Me?_" Hikari giggled. "I'm the class rep, Touji. I can get away with murder if that murder involves the classroom." 

They walked, together, in love, and without Asuka, into the school building just as the last bell chimed.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Asuka was having trouble with the two and two thing again.  
  
She sat at her desk, perfectly still, watching Hikari do the attendance in front of the classroom. Hikari looked the same--brown hair pulled into two ponytails with red hair bands, freckles scattered across her face, knee socks wrinkled to just the right amount of the casual schoolgirl style. Asuka watched as her eyes scanned the classroom, looking for absentees.  
  
_Out there,_ Asuka thought, a swirly feeling in her stomach, was just....unreal. _Touji and Hikari!!! Who would ever thought they'd get together? _Asuka began to move her mouse around the desktop of her laptop in circles, thinking hard. _I mean, Hikari did have the hots for Dud Man, and I guess it's not like they don't look good together, but, I mean.....I mean....  
_  
Asuka stopped. Her cheeks flared as a thought popped into her head. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the feeling that came over her.  
  
_No, no, NO!_ She thought._ I am NOT jealous of Hikari!!!_ She gritted her teeth. _There is no way I'm jealous of Hikari and Touji. No way. I mean...but...they look so happy together, _Asuka thought wistfully, forgetting her anger for a second. _They're so in love. And it's a bit pathetic, but still...who wouldn't kill to have a boyfriend....just a guy...who'd love you?  
_  
Dreams of warmth, protection and fluff overcame her. She sighed, the ache in her chest throbbing. She did not need to remind herself, but she knew, she knew, that the arms wrapped around her in her dreams, the kisses traveling down her neck, on her eyelids, on her lips, were that of the anonymous on her poems. _I wish he'd write me again,_ Asuka thought to herself as her head sunk down into her arms. _His words are so unreal they're comforting_. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
Shinji yawned for the fifty-third time since he'd woken up. He rubbed the circles under his eyes and tried to get to sleep, ignoring the chatters of his fellow students and the considerable ache in his lower jaw.  
  
_Sleep need,_ he thought to himself. _Need sleep fast. Sleep I need. Need I sleep. Close eyes want to....._  
  
Shinji buried his face in his arms and shut his eyes. He stifled another yawn and tried to think of sheep tripping--er--jumping over fences. It was working, he thought, as he drifted off into sleep, falling in and out of reality. The colors around him became hazy and undistinguishable. His breathing became even and he finally fell into a deep sleep.  
  
Unfortunately, his "deep sleep" was soon disturbed by none other than the miniscule, dream version of Rei Ayanami.  
  
Shinji sobbed inside his head. (Yes, Little Shinji.) _WHY MUST THE FEMALE PSYCHE HAUNT ME CONSTANTLY!?_ Little Shinji wailed. _WHY MUST THE OPPOSITE SEX STALK ME 24/7!? WHY MUST I BE TORTURED SO!?  
_  
(Welcome to the true meaning of adolesence, Shinji.)  
  
Shinji woke up groggily, not fit enough to face Little Rei. He mumbled a few obscenities and stared at the blackboard. The teacher was writing something dull and seemingly "important" on the board and the click of mouses and keyboards were blasting away at Shinji's ears. He glanced at his own empty laptop, a blank text document staring up at him.  
  
He glanced at the notebook in his backpack, the same one he had written Asuka's little rendevouz on. His eyes moved back to the empty text screen. His mind moved to Rei.  
  
_Maybe,_ Shinji thought, trying to fight fatigue, _Maybe I should....like....._ He yawned. _Put Rei at rest. What!? _He panicked. _No, that doesn't sound right. I mean....she seemed....I don't know....restless, or something, when she came into my room and saw the letter. And she was all happy-like, or something like it, when I told her she was special...._ His eyelids drooped, but he refused to let them close. _Maybe...maybe I should just write her a poem too. A 'friendly' poem. Friend to friend. Nothing like Asuka's letters. No, nothing like hers. If I did that....if I wrote a love letter to Rei—who knows how this whole triangle will end up?  
_  
Satisfied with his decision, he began to type away.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
After a day of sleeping, poetry, taking notes, learning, cursing, stealing very subtle 'ugly' glances at 'Second', being 'jealous' of Hikari, and figuring out how to deliver_ imaginary_ letters to _imaginary_ lockers, lunchtime came.  
  
Sensei dismissed the class and everyone ran for the door as if there was a bomb in the classroom due to explode any minute. Shinji was half-asleep at his desk, waiting for Rei's poem to print in the corner of the classroom. Asuka was dragging her feet around the room, obviously in a daze thinking about something, and Rei was getting out her obento (lunchbox) and exiting the room.  
  
"Ikari; Second. Are you planning to eat lunch?"  
Asuka shot her very famous Death Glare and scowled. "No," She said. "I'm going to wait for Mrs. Lovesick to finish her class rep duties so we can have a discussion about something that bothers me, if Mrs. Lovesick is willing." She released her evil glare and rapped on the door of the teacher's closet.  
  
"HIKARI, GET YOUR ASS MOVING!"  
  
Rei heard shocked silence, then a startled gasp and a couple of defenses in Asuka's name from Hikari. She tsked softly.  
  
_Such an arrogant girl._  
  
"Are you planning to eat, Ikari-kun?" Rei asked, turning to Shinji, who was getting up to take Rei's poem out of the printer.  
He grunted. "Later." Then he remembered the purpose of the tree he was wasting (the paper). "Uh, well, I will, Rei, I'll catch up later...just go on without me, ok?" He tried to smile.  
  
Her eyes lit up back to him. "Alright."  
  
Then she was gone.  
  
Shinji watched the blue-haired girl quietly slip out of the room and join the rest of the hordes for lunch. He did a silent joy dance in his head, then sharply turned back to the red-head, who was looking at an imaginary watch on her wrist and tapping her foot impatiently.  
  
Shinji stared at her as if to send brain waves saying, _Leaveleaveleaveleaveleaveleaveleaveleave. Please leave. Pleeeaaaseee.....  
_  
Unfortunately, brain waves were not an option in Shinji's case. He was either a) too tired, b) brain-wave drained by Dr. Akagi, or c) incapable of telepathy.  
  
(It is most likely c, but hey, with Dr. Akagi, who knows what goes on with the doors closed.)  
  
Finally, as Shinji sat practically rubbing the ink off the poems with his sweaty hands, and Asuka was going to take her foot and just break the door down, Hikari opened the door, bowed to the sensei, and turned to Asuka.  
  
"Let's go. Sorry I took long," She said, trying to ignore the pained look on Asuka's face. Asuka growled.

"Sure, whatever...."

The two walked out of the door, leaving Shinji and the sensei alone. Shinji looked at the shoe lockers. They were less than a meter away from him. He turned to the sensei, who was checking papers and/or reading a dirty novel.  
  
_A dirty novel?_  
  
Shinji shook his head and slipped the letters into envelopes: red for Asuka, blue for Rei. He wrote their names on the outside as illegibly as possible and then checked to make sure no one was around.  
  
Luckily all was quiet. The sensei was busy checking papers and/or reading. The birds weren't even chirping their usual sickly sweet song. The chatter of noisy children was gone, banished to the cafeteria and outside. There was no sound in the classroom....all was quiet.  
  
Shinji, rather than stick poems into lockers, wanted to savor this moment. Quiet moments were very rare in Shinji's life. Of course, he had quiet moments that lasted a few minutes, but they were stabbed by panicked thoughts, or awkward silences, or tension. No, this moment had an aura that the others did not: one of peace.  
  
But Shinji knew that his 'duty' was to deliver those poems. It would be nice, coming home, seeing Asuka raving about the poem, asking Shinji questions about boys and then saying he was stupid and what did he know about them anyway, as he was probably gay. And Rei. It would be interesting to see her reaction to the poem he had written to her.  
  
_I hope she knows it's not a love poem,_ Shinji fretted. _I mean, God knows I'd love to write one to her, but Asuka would catch on, she always does, and then...and then there'd be....trouble...  
_  
He shuddered at the thought of Asuka pouncing on Rei about who had sent her the letter, and then them getting into a nasty fight, (a catfight between those two_ would _be nice to watch, Shinji thought wistfully, then shook his head) and he knew that somehow he would get involved in it, and then they'd find out, and then....  
  
Shinji refused to think about it, instead focusing on sticking the envelopes into the ¾ inch thick slot on the shoe locker that was not meant for mail anyway. After a few minutes of pushing and prodding, he stepped back into the classroom, officially spent and done with his duty.  
  
It was then he noticed that his stomach was growling hungrily and there were only fifteen minutes left in lunch. Whistling a lazy tune, he stepped out of the classroom and out into the courtyard.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  
  
Meanwhile, Hikari and Asuka were eating lunch on the roof with Rei not too far off (not that either of them noticed). Hikari daintily picked up her chopsticks and elegantly picked up a rolled omelet. She took the tiniest bite out of it and then put it back down gently into her lunchbox.  
  
Asuka stared at her like she was crazy. While she was stuffing octopus- shaped sausages into her mouth, here was Hikari, taking fifty million bites out of a rolled omelet that should only take five bites to consume. She cleared her throat.  
  
Hikari looked up and smiled. "Something wrong, Asuka?"

"Erm....no..." She smirked. "I'd just like to know, are you taking finishing lessons? What's up with the tiny bites and all the adjectives, like 'daintily' and 'elegantly'? Oh," She said, with a rush of inspiration, "Are you practicing for the housewife role?"  
  
Hikari blushed. _Ha!_ Asuka smiled. _I got her!_ "N-no. Of course not! I....I'm only fifteen....how could I get married so young? I'm just doing it because I'm in a good mood. I eat like this when I'm in a good mood. Haven't you noticed? I'm such a perfectionist when I'm in a good mood. Haven't you noticed, Asuka? After all, we've been hanging together for a long time...haven't you....noticed?" She twitched crookedly and forced a smile.  
  
"Well," Asuka said drily, "I've noticed that when you're nervous or when you're supposedly lying then you start to talk a lot. You start repeating things over and over again....it's quite annoying." She raised an eyebrow at Hikari. "Right?"

Hikari was bright red. "I...I've never noticed! How can you prove it!?"

"Oh, dammit, Hikari, just 'fess up!" Asuka was getting mad now; her temper, for some reason, seemed to be on the rise higher than it usually was. "You're just acting all friggin' ladylike because of that dork!"  
"He is NOT a dork!!!" Hikari fumed. "And that is NOT the reason! It is not the reason! Why would that be the reason? I've always acted this way. That is not, that is so not, the, the erm, the reason!" She stuttered.

"There you go again! Listen to you, stuttering and repeating the same thing twenty times in a sentence. God, Hikari! Why can't you just tell the damn truth!? Are you ashamed of Touji or what!? Why can't you just tell me!?"  
  
Hikari's mouth dropped open. "How _dare_ you say that! I am NOT ashamed of him! You're just jealous, Asuka, because you don't have a boyfriend and you're all lonely with only your _letters _to keep you company!"  
Asuka stepped back as if she had been slapped and Hikari immediately realized her mistake. She brought a hand to her mouth and looked down. "Oh, Asuka, I didn't mean that...I--"  
  
Asuka shot Hikari a cold glare. "No, don't say you're sorry. I mean, you probably think you know everything, right, Hikari? Because now you have a boyfriend and everything. Yeah, ok, I get it." She stood there, watching Hikari shake her head vigorously, but nonetheless she ignored it. "I guess your friends aren't good enough for you now that you're taken and everything. Well, I guess I should just leave you, you know, I'll just go chill with my letters from now on," She snapped, turning around on her heel and stomping back into the school building. "Good-bye, Hikari, I hope you enjoy your life with loverdork."  
  
As Asuka was leaving and Hikari was trying to get her back, Rei was sitting in the corner, sitting comfortably nestled in the crook of the perpendicular fences. She had just finished the rest of her rice when the 'spat' started.

_I wonder how Second feels, _Rei thought, sliding her chopsticks into her mouth and chewing slowly. She turned towards Hikari, who was leaning against the railing with her head in her hands, sobbing quietly, all lunch forgotten. If Rei was anything like normal, she would have walked over to Hikari, comforted her, and told her that Asuka was nothing but a stubborn....something, but Rei thought it was her duty to leave Hikari and Asuka's little bicker alone. Silently she packed up her lunch and walked back down the stairs to the classroom, leaving behind Hikari's crying and walking towards Asuka's wrath of major destruction.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Hey, Touji, so I see you have a girlfriend now."

Kensuke had put down his military magazine and was looking at Touji through his glasses, smiling slyly. At the sound of the word 'girlfriend' Shinji looked up from his own sandwich and stared at Touji was well.

Touji, however, was stuffing his face with olives as he turned back to Kensuke. "No....really, you think so?" Rolling his eyes, he threw five more olives into his mouth, chewing loudly, olive juice dripping off his chin. Slightly disgusted, Shinji looked away.

_I wonder, if the class rep saw him _now, _what she'd think of him, _he smirked.

"Don't be sarcastic, Touji," Kensuke said seriously, adjusting his glasses. "Do you know what this _means?"  
_For an approximate second Touji looked away from his olives and gave the question some thinking. Then he broke into a wide, olive-speckled grin (Shinji looked away again) and said,  
"I know. It means I get to have someone to make out with."

Shinji almost fell forward onto the table much like he had fallen forward while teaching Rei how to make spaghetti, but this time he held calm. Instead he thought that if the class rep really was here, Touji would be dead, gone, _fin._

Kensuke shook his head vigorously. "No, no. It means that you have passed the ranks of the small men. It means that _now, _Touji Suzuhara, you have become among the ranks of what we like to call......The Big Men." There was a dramatic pause in which Kensuke looked around, expecting to see shocked faces, but (as usual) he was disappointed. "Anyway....no longer do you have nothing to do on Friday nights like the rest of us--" At this he motioned to himself and Shinji, who frowned. "--but instead, while we are at home fantasizing about our own empty love lives, you will be out, taking the class rep to dinner, maybe seeing a movie, and then the next day, you will brag about it to us. That, my man," Kensuke said, slapping Touji on the back, "Is what the Big Men do."

Touji ate another olive, chewing sloppily. "Hmmm. Really? You know, Kensuke, I wasn't planning on talking about what Hikari and I do on dates or whatever, but you've convinced me that I can now." He slapped Kensuke on the back as well. "I mean, since you've made it clear that you don't mind or whatever. Right Shinji?"

Shinji just stared at Touji and the olive juice on his face. He sighed and shrugged.  
"I really don't care, but--"

He was planning to say "--but maybe before you go out with the class rep you could learn some manners," but before he could say anything, a strong gust of wind flew by their table, causing Shinji's sandwich wrapper to slam him in the face and some olives to fly out of the jar Touji was holding.

The gust of wind was accompanied by a string of cuss words, some harsh-sounding German words and a swish of red hair that could give any person walking by a couple of nasty cuts. The words and the hair were then accompanied by a "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY YOU LOW-LIFES!!!!!" and then someone screaming in pain. Shinji peeled the sandwich wrapper off his face and turned to Touji and Kensuke.

"What--what was that!?" He said, sputtering, peeling the wrapper off his face. "It was weird. Just a big gush of wind. It's not windy, is it?"  
Touji stuck his finger in his mouth and held it up in the air, earning (more) stares from his peers. "Nah. It's not windy. Not even a breeze."  
Kensuke frowned, straightening his glasses, which had flown askew. "Well, then what was it....?"

The three thought in oblivious silence until a rather..._familiar_ voice caught their attention.

"ANTA _BAKA_?! I TOLD YOU TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! BECAUSE WHEN ASUKA LANGELY SOHRYU TELLS YOU TO GET OUT OF THE WAY, THAT'S WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!! _SCHEISSE! _WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO AROUND HERE FOR SOME SCRAP OF INTELLIGENCE!?"

The harsh words were then followed by another painful scream, and then some more crude German. Shinji paled. _No. No! It's not....it can't be....oh god. Why didn't I recognize this from the beggining? _He grimaced. _I must be getting senile. _

"Guys," Shinji said weakly, turning to Kensuke and Touji. "Um. You know. It'd be best if we--"  
All three of them seemed to have the same thought as they all stood up in unison and began to run away, that is, until a voice sat them back down.

"_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIII!!!! _THREE STOOGES!!!! I SEE YOU!!!! SIT BACK DOWN!!!!"

All three boys turned to each other and Touji scowled. "Oh shit, Devil Woman's gonna kill us."  
"But what did we doooo?" Kensuke whined. "We stayed out of her way during lunch! We couldn't have done anything!" He rounded on Touji. "Touji! You were fighting with her again, weren't you!?"  
Touji held his hands up in innocence. "No way, man! Shinji must've pissed her off or something! Did you forget to make her lunch again!? Did you find her in the shower or something!? Well?"

Both of them turned to Shinji.

He gulped and shook his head. "Maybe....maybe it's not us." _Asuka will pick any random person to yell at, even if it wasn't their fault for whatever's making her angry....believe me, I should know, _he thought, taking this time to relieve some rather painful memories. 

Asuka stomped over to the table and frowned (or bared her killer incisors, which were dripping with blood, as Kensuke and Shinji imagined.) "None of you guys better piss me off even more than I am already, because as you may have heard, I am _not _giving away free bottles of pity."

Touji smirked. "What's up, _oni-onna? _Did some guy reject you? Are you having a bad hair day? Or...." He gasped dramatically. "....did somebody _dare _to _stare_ at the so-called Great Sohryu Asuka Langley?"  
Shinji averted his eyes from Asuka's fist, which had _Touji _written all over it. Instead, he thought of the real answers to Touji's accusations: No guy would ever reject Asuka unless he already had a girlfriend, and he was a good guy enough to realize that love is always better than lust. Asuka never had bad hair days, _ever, _because she always had the same hairstyle and her hair was practically molded into that shape. And thirdly, if somebody stared at 'the Great Sohryu Asuka Langley', it would entirely depend on who, because if Shinji stared at her, he would get a slap and a 'hentai' and if Hikari stared at her Asuka would worriedly ask if there was something on her face.

However, instead of punching Touji out, Asuka sighed and plopped down next to Shinji. "No, idiot, it's neither. I'd tell you but I'm afraid it'd be too intense for your small, dyslexic brain," She said flatly. "Well actually, on second thought, I wouldn't tell you, even if your brain _was _bigger than my pupil."

Touji turned away, obviously miffed. "Whatever," He mumbled.  
Shinji took this opening to speak up. "Well....Asuka...whatever _is _bothering you.....if you don't want to tell us....then....why are you here?"

Bad move, Shinji. Bad move.

"What do you _mean, _why am I here!?" Asuka glared at him, practically burning a hole in his eyes. If you were the sort of person that could read people's _ki, _then you would have noticed that at that moment Asuka's ki brutally forced itself through the stratosphere and rocketed on.  
She stood up and slammed her hand on the table, dangerously near Shinji, who jumped. "Look, Third, if you don't want me here then you should have said so a _long _time ago. I come here looking for some solace and this is what I get!? Maybe if you'd have _done _something to make me feel better I would have told you what was fricking bothering me at _home. _But I guess you don't want me there _either, _right?" Asuka was beggining to get tired. Lashing out at people was not all easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy, and her voice was getting hoarse. She rubbed her throat, trying to rid the scratchy sensations acquired from yelling too much. "Well, I'll be leaving, since you seem so _eager_ for me to go."

With that, she pivoted on her foot and quickly walked away.

Shinji felt like punching something. _Why does it always end up like this!? _He thought angrily. _I try to say something _right, _hoping she'll respond in a way that does not feel like someone is slapping me across the face, but _no, _this is what I get. Shit! _He groaned, slumping forward onto the table. _Dammit, Asuka! You make loving you so damn hard! Why can't you act normal for once!?_

Kensuke raised his arm and patted Shinji on the back and spoke for the first time since Asuka had invaded the area. "Eh, Shinji, it's ok. You know she didn't mean it. She's like that."  
"Yeah, Devil Woman'll say anything. I bet it's just that time of the month. Tomorrow she'll be in her usual mood, you know, half-agreeable, half-bitchy. Don't worry about it, she does this to me all the time," Touji added.

Shinji nodded numbly, even though the two did not come close to his reason for slamming himself on the table. He did not feel bad about Asuka's screaming at him (ok, he did, but who wouldn't? Ok, Touji, but....). He was used to her actions, her curses, her insults. The day to him would not be _normal _if he hadn't been called 'baka' once. The reason he was so aggravated was because loving somebody was _not _as easy as it looked....especially if that somebody was Asuka. Had he thought it looked easy in the beggining? Well, maybe. But as he dreaded each passing minute until he arrived home, he realized that love was_ not_ easy, at least, not love in the face of that hot-tempered German girl.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

After lunch, it was back to classes and hearing non-stop about the Second Impact and life after it. Shinji slammed his keyboard with his fingers, cursing underneath his breath, slamming the mouse with his index finger in a homicidal fashion. Asuka was doing the same, although under _her_ fingers, the _Enter _key on her laptop had almost turned into an _Ent _key and an _er _key and the pad of her fingertip was burning a hole through the mouse. Both of them ignored the instant messages streaming into their screens: Shinji typing an apologetic "Sorry, I don't want to talk right now" and Asuka furiously clicking the _x _on the half-boxes.

Meanwhile, anyone who happened to glance over at Hikari would notice that her eyes were red and she was sniffing, although she was trying to hide it. After Asuka had left, she had cried uncontrollably. Asuka was her friend--her best friend, practically. Of course, everyone in the class knew her, she was the class rep, after all, but they were just being friendly--no one could really have a good time after school with Hikari except for her closest friends, one being Asuka. And now, Asuka was mad at her. Hikari sniffled again. _But I do deserve it, _she thought glumly. _I shouldn't have touched the subject of her letters. I know she really believes that she loves whoeever wrote them...and....I have faith in her to find out who it is...but....she was just making me mad....about Touji. _She _didn't have any right to say those things about Touji, either....._

At the 'mention' of his name Touji looked up. Maybe it was the strong, platonic red string that connected him to Hikari (_see notes at end of chapter_) or maybe it was his bond with the girl that made him notice something other than the fly on his laptop.....or maybe it was because Hikari sneezed quite violently just then, and frankly he wasn't the only one who looked in her direction.

Concerned of her health and bored out of his mind with Second Impact lectures, Touji sent her an instant message of authentic boyfriend sympathy.

S055: Hey, Hikari. Some loogie. You ok?

Hikari looked away from her classmates, embarassed at her little sniffle and stared at the message on her screen. _Some loogie? _She frowned. _Err.....Touji has to increase his vocabulary. But, _she added to herself, smiling, _it's nice he cares._

H2201: Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little dust in the air....  
S055: You sure? Coz....you know....dust never gave me _that _big of a sneeze.

Hikari's brow tightened. She hadn't originally planned on telling him about the fight, and she'd avoided showing any signs of discomfort when she'd entered the classroom. But....how could she lie? You couldn't be a good class representative and lie, that was for sure. And besides, he was her boyfriend....he cared about her.

H2201: Well, actually, it wasn't dust......  
S055: Are you sick? Because, you know, you shouldn't be here if you are. You'll get sicker....

A smile stretched across her face. _Yeah, he really does care._

S055: And y'know that no one wants all that crap on their stuff, Hikari.

A grimace replaced her smile. _....Well, he cares in his own way._

H2201: No, ok, I'll tell you.....just promise not to let it go around....  
S055: Sure. Like I would tell.  
H2201: It's Asuka....

Across the room she saw his fist clench by his side. She hurriedly continued to type out the rest.

H2201: No, no, Touji, it's not like that. I mean, we had a little fight.....well, it didn't start out as a fight. Asuka asked about you.....  
S055: About me?  
H2201: Yeah. And....she asked me if I was, uh, well, we kinda got into this whole fight, about me acting ladylike because of you--  
S055: Ladylike?  
H2201: Yeah, it's a long story. Anyway, then I kept denying it, and then Asuka said, 'Why don't you just tell me? Are you ashamed of him?' And that's when I got mad, and I said 'No, I am not ashamed of him and you're just jealous....'

She decided not to include the part about the letters. Touji probably didn't know about them, and it would just make things complicated she had to explain about them, and if Asuka ever found out she'd be in even more trouble than she was now.

S055: So....Asuka's jealous.  
H2201: I don't know, but it really seems that way. And then _she _got mad, and you know how Asuka is.....

Touji bleakly chose this point to remember the lunch scenario.

S055: Yeah....I know.  
H2201: So....we're kind of....not speaking right now. And I know I made a big mistake. Accusing her of being jealous. Asuka's just.....hard to....you know....get out of trouble with.  
S055: Yeah. I know what you're saying. But I think you should make up with her.

Hikari raised an eyebrow.

H2201: You make it sound so easy, Touji.  
S055: I know. But it's not, huh? But you guys are always together. Everyone can tell you're great friends. And if you guys just, you know, split apart, it wouldn't be the same. Asuka'd be....different. You'd be different, too.  
H2201: Yeah.....I know. She's like my best friend. It's hard, without her wild side to keep me in check.  
S055: Wild side? That's the only side she's got.

Feeling better, Hikari giggled. It was nice talking to Touji, knowing he cared so much about her to help her with her own problems. She decided that Asuka's being jealous was nothing to be mad about anyway. _If she had a boyfriend and I didn't, _Hikari mused, _I know _I'd _be really jealous too. I hope she forgives me, because I'm ready to forgive her...._She smiled again at the thought of her boyfriend. _Thank you, Touji._

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Finally, as sensei was rambling to his class' last nerve, the school bell rang. It was a mess for sweaters and jackets and notebooks and pencil cases as the students rushed to their afternoon appointments. It had to be noted that Asuka and Hikari promptly avoided each other; Hikari still a little uncomfortable around her 'friend' and scheming up a way to make up, Asuka still fuming about the fight. Shinji left with Kensuke, wistfully staring after Touji and Hikari who walked off in the opposite direction, hands clasped together.

"Aren't you glad you aren't him?" Kensuke said as he pushed open the door. "You've still got me and the freedom of singletondom. I say we go to my house and play some video games."  
Shinji smiled numbly, not agreeing nor disagreeing. his eyes still fixated on the spot where said boyfriend and girlfriend were walking off. _Actually, it's more like I wish I _was _him._

As the classroom emptied out, a lone figure stood in the locker room, gathering her things slowly and sluggishly. There was no care in her actions, however. Her school shoes were thrown quite agressively back into the small compartment and her outside shoes were not slipped on but shoved on. Her bag was slung with unessescary violence over her shoulder, and she was about to step out of the classroom when a glint of red caught her eye.

Leaning closer in towards the object, her heart started to race. Was it....him? It? Them? Her anonymous? Had he sent her another poem, finally, finally, _finally? _She tried to keep her hopes down, just in case it was nothing more than a discarded scrap of paper or an F paper. But....

....no. It was unmistakable. It was an envelope.

Asuka would have squealed with delight but instead she kept quiet: there were always students lurking around after hours and she didn't want anyone to see what she was so happy about. Instead, she picked it up, her fingers trembling slightly, and lifted the flap.

A small piece of paper fell out, the kanji on it written like Asuka's own except a bit more legible. She tried to calm herself down as her eyes read the words he'd penned to her, hopefully with love, but if not that, then thought.

_To Asuka:_

_....Ihre Augen, warm, blau, schön._

_your lips slightly parted,  
(i could stare into that open space forever)  
sweet balls of moisture hanging off your brow  
(i could paint a picture of you with my eyes closed)  
your blue eyes pooled into a sea of  
exploration,  
(that i have dived into)  
the curve of your nose that i could sensually  
slide off of  
(are you getting me here?)  
your smooth complexion,  
that if it were milk would slide down my throat so  
slippery  
and that's just your  
face_

_--me_

Asuka blinked obliviously at the words spread in front of her face. "To Asuka, your eyes....warm, blue, beautiful," She read. She skimmed over the letter again, disbelieving what this 'me' person was saying about her. Damn, she couldn't be _this _beautiful. Out of instinct she touched her face as she re-read every word. Her lips, her forehead (_Am I always this sweaty!? _She thought, frantically wiping her brow), her eyes (_my eyes aren't warm....or beautiful....are they?) _Her nose _(my nose is _sensual?!?, her cheeks _(wow, then I guess that moisturizer is working if he thinks my complexion is perfect....)_

And then the last words: 'And that's just your face'.

What if he had written about her body? She felt a hotness creep up to her cheeks. _Errggh....damn! What is he doing to me? He's making me _weakAsuka frowned. If she ever found out who this person was, she would never be able to act herself around him. She'd always be weak-kneed, meek, afraid, in need of protection.

"I'm not like that," She mumbled to herself as she carefully re-folded the letter and tucked it into her bag. "I'm strong. I can protect myself."

But his words were so sweet, and so loving, and so.....different. No one spoke to her like that during the course of her normal days. She was sure that boys had written poems to her, but they couldn't come close to _his _standards, at least, of those that she'd read. They were too fake, and so uncreative--most of them started with _'roses are red...'_

Oh, but _his _words. His words. If he could make beautiful poetry like that, then how was he in real life? Was he like Kaji? Strong, tall, handsome? Was he a poet? The kinds of poets that you'd always see in television--skinny, pale, thin-lipped, always dressed in black? Or was he....normal? Like....Shinji, for instance?  
Asuka stopped in her tracks. _Shinji!? Why am I thinking about that baka!? _She shook her head and walked faster, making her way out of the building. _Ugh, he's making me think too much. I've dug so much into my mind I've come across Third. That's just sick...._

Then the anonymous poet's words came back to her. _'I could paint a picture of you with my eyes closed.' _Could he? More importantly, _would _he? Would this picture be flawless? Beautiful? Actually holding a resemblance to the real Asuka? Or would it be fake? _Too _beautiful? _Too _flawless? Goddess-like?

Asuka stopped again, this time out of embarassment. She realized that she'd been mumbling, walking around in a daze of sorts, thinking about Mr. Me. But really....what _was _he like in real life? She shook her head again, pulling at her pigtails and scowling, that damn _blush _crawling onto her cheeks again.

"I'm not that beautiful," She mumbled angrily, a trace of wishful thinking and hope disappearing behind her poison-laced words.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It has to be said that Rei Ayanami is a girl of stealth.

As we know, she had slipped into the locker room when Touji and Hikari were sorting out their little confession without any of the two noticing. She had crept around the Katsuragi household without anyone taking a second glance until she found herself in Shinji's room. And, my friends, I know that without a doubt that you all know where Rei Ayanami was while that redheaded hot-tempered vixen had her own little think-o-rama.

Yes, she was in the corner of the hallway, angled just enough to see into the room and to see Asuka reading the letter. Her anger (or lack thereof, as seen on her face) had risen to a boiling point.

_Second! _She thought to herself as she slipped on her outdoor shoes. _Why does she get letters from Ikari-kun? She is not special. She is rude. Mean. She has no decency. She does not deserve the thoughts that come from Ikari-kun's head. _Silent ki rushed from her system, elicting a strange aura around her. _Ikari-kun said that _I _was special. He said he was writing to a special person. I would have at least thought...._sighing, she slumped against the wall of the locker room. _I would have at least thought I would have gotten one as well._

Her angry ki evaporated as she become her normal self again, but she still couldn't help thinking why she didn't get one. _It does not make sense. He was writing to someone special, _she thought, reenacting the scene from his bedroom into her mind:

_"This is to...a...a special person," He managed to say with a straight face. "Someone very special."  
"Ikari-kun, could you inform me of something? She asked, a hint of bitterness in her voice, but so little that Shinji did not notice at all.....  
_

_"Would you tell me...am I..." Rei straightened herself up. "Am I special?"_

_"Of...of course you're special, Rei. Yes, of course you are."_

A special person. Rei sighed. _Ikari-kun is very complicated....he could have just said it was not me. I would not have been angry...._

_...no, I would have been. But he did not have to lie to me like that._

Of course, Rei did not realize that most people did not know she was angry when she really was. In fact, they didn't know when Rei was sad, or happy, or annoyed, or....well....any emotion, really. So of course Shinji didn't tell her--he didn't know how she'd react; if she'd be mad, or alright with it.  
She was about to step out of the room and into the fresh air but noticed that her shoe locker was still open. Frowning, she pushed the door on the locker but it did not shut. She tried a second time, pushing harder, but still the door resisted.

After some more tries Rei found the problem: there was a piece of paper that was jammed in between the door and the lock. _This is not right, _Rei thought. _Why is there a piece of paper in my shoe locker? Paper does not belong there. This is strange...._

Moreover, to Rei's surprise, the paper was fashioned into the shape of an envelope and it was not white, but blue. Rei pulled out the envelope of the concave space as carefully as she could and examined it.  
  
The back had her first and last name on it, though the kanji was quite messy and looked even worse than Asuka's. The envelope was not fastened all the way and Rei could see a bit of white paper sticking out under the flap.

Having an ample amount of curiousty and wondering why the heck there was an envelope, of all things, in her shoe locker, she unstuck the flap and pulled out the piece of paper.

_to rei:_

_were you expecting this?_

_she stands there, untelling  
her mouth closed, her eyes unfocused  
she won't tell me what she's thinking  
she won't tell anyone  
you'll try to talk to her, she'll stare  
no answer, a blank expression  
you'll catch her staring out the window  
an hour later, she hasn't moved  
she intrigues me, somehow,__  
i could talk to her blank stare for hours  
and when i've left  
she'll still be staring out the window, but  
one eye'll be on me, inviting me to  
come talk to her stare again_

_from, shinji_

Rei stared at the paper. The four words at the top--'Were you expecting this?' were staring back at her, screaming "Well? You were expecting it! He wrote you! He wrote you a poem! Now try to figure it out, darling, read between the lines, is this a friendly note or a love letter?"

Like any person, Rei was caught between the choices--is this just _friendship? _Or is this poem suggesting a hint of _romance? _Truth be told, at first glance, it would look like a love poem. All the mentions of staring, of talking, of noticing--and then that certain line--'she intrigues me, somehow'--it seemed so obviously a love poem.

But was it? It could be a friendship poem. After all, you wouldn't talk to the person you loved for hours--you'd be too tongue-tied to talk, too red in the face to act. The intriguing line could mean a whole other kind of intrigue...the kind of intrigue of an interesting, potential friend, perhaps? Determined not to jump to conclusions like most of her peers did, Rei read and re-read the poem again, standing in that same spot, trying to find the hidden meaning.

Ah, but if Shinji was there, he would have confessed he was not good at friendship poems; love poems were his thing. Wasn't friendship the first step to love, after all? Shinji felt it neccessary to skip the first step and go right into the love. Nobody could tell his friendship poems from his love ones; they seemed so alike. And yet if you were clever enough; knew his poems enough; you'd know the difference, you'd catch the genre quite well....

But Rei did not know any of Shinji's poems besides that one; and Shinji was not there in the room to tell her. But he had written to her. He had kept that 'silent promise' made in his bedroom that night. Wasn't that proof enough, Rei thought? Wasn't the fact that he had kept that kind-of promise and written her a poem at least have _some _notation that he was intrigued with her? She didn't know. She didn't want to know. All she wanted to know, all she wanted to believe, that Shinji _did _love her. The promise. He'd kept it. He'd said she was special. He didn't turn her away when she slept over at his house...

As Rei turned on her heel to leave the school building, the letter still clutched tightly in her hand, the back of her mind screamed, "Rei! Don't you think you should think this through a little more?" But for once, Rei decided that the back of her mind could just shut up. What mattered was the front of her mind. The instinctive part. The believer.

The doors swung fiercely behind her as Rei exited the building; the cold air whipped her face, stinging her eyeballs, cutting her cheeks. But she bared the winds. She had a lead on this case; after all.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

End Note: Right. Okay. I know you're out to kill me. But hear me out first!!! Honestly! Well, let me clarify some things first:

red-string thing: yeah, okay, i remember the name of it now--it's _akai-ito. _Basically it's just a Japanese saying, that when you love somebody, you and that person have a red 'string' connecting both of your hearts.

_oni-onna_: devil woman, japanese, obviously.

Great. Okay. Now, you're going to kill me. And I know if I list the millions of reasons why this chapter took so long, and if I put 'I'm Sorry' five squillion times, it wouldn't help. So I'll just say one reason, and one sorry: I was in California for a week, with no Internet access at all except one time for ten minutes, and I'M SORRY!!! Yup! I went to Cali! I went to San Francisco, which I _loved, _and Sacramento, and Napa Valley, and Sonoma, and Carmel, and Monterey....is that how you spell it? XD Anyway, I really am sorry. Really, really. I have a new fanfiction prey, too: Harry Potter. (insane grin) So watch out.

And now for some advertising. I have my own domain. (excited squeal) It's sugardaisy-dot-net. No, not like that--replace the dot, of course, and add "www". It's just that it won't show otherwise. XD Of course, not everything is up yet. Haha.

Love ya.


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